An invitation to spend a holiday at a theme park popular with children would normally be met with a series of excuses from me: Sorry, I'm cleaning out the house; Sorry, grandma is coming to stay; Sorry, I'm washing my hair.
But I'm surprised to discover that Florida's popular theme parks are not heaving with small, screaming children. In fact, most of the "screaming" appears to be coming from adults - including myself.
I'm visiting Discovery Cove, SeaWorld and Aquatica to find out why scary rides and animal attractions are still just as much fun for adults.
It's not that these venues are child-free zones at all. In fact, during my stay, I bump into several school trips, as well as numerous families. But the parks are so vast and well laid out that there's enough space for everyone.
Like the best children's films, laced with references that will have mums and dads nodding wryly in recognition, the top tourist attractions in the US seem to cater for all tastes.
I'm just amazed so many kids are brave enough to tackle these rides. I'm certainly pushed to my limit at Aquatica's daunting Ihu's Breakaway Falls. The set-up is simple - a cylindrical, vertical-drop flume with twists, turns and a countdown clock.
The trudge up to the summit of the ride - which, for those wanting a distraction, allows the chance for magnificent views of the Orlando landscape - is conducted in silence.
Three participants at a time are then placed into solo tubes, upright and facing each other. As the countdown clock ticks away in inverse proportion to the ascending heart rates, so too the tension builds. Then, one by one, trapdoors open under each flume and the twitching riders disappear from sight.
Fortunately, the pace is altogether more tranquil across the road at Discovery Cove, where the Lazy Rapids represents the most terrifying thing in the whole park. Floating effortlessly like an autumn leaf on a stream, it's almost possible to drift into a slumber as the 15-minute course loops around the park again and again.
One of my highlights though, is a safari through Busch Gardens. I'm able to glimpse rare and endangered animals and learn about their plight at the hands of poachers.
As our 4x4 limbers over uncertain terrain, my guide explains that much of his daily work is dedicated to educating people about wildlife.
There are also opportunities for close contact with animals. At Discovery Cove, I'm able to swim with dolphins, while at SeaWorld, I'm invited to help feed the stingrays. It's my first encounter with the pancake-flat fish, and I find the whole experience quite daunting.
But in a week where my courage has been tested to new heights, I'm more than ready to embrace new adventures. The stingrays seem to enjoy it too.
Ryan Hooper was a guest of SeaWorld Parks & Entertainment.
- PA
