Entertainment: The IFE screens are small compared with the some other aircraft, such as the Air New Zealand 777s that work this same route. But United has a very cool ace in the hand: With their Private Screening Service, you can access the plane's Wi-Fi for free and choose from a very good selection of movies and television shows. For general web browsing, there's a fee. Plane nerds can treat themselves to one of the audio channels that lets you have a listen to the flight-deck crew talking to air traffic controllers. It's only working at the pilot's discretion and, sadly, our skipper had switched it off.
The service: With a wine cork wedged half in and out of its bottle, a crew member stood beside me grunting away as she tried to remove the thing. "If I wasn't standing in the aisle where everyone can see," she mutters to me. "I'd just use my teeth." Like a true gentleman, I took the bottle from her, leaned forward discreetly and whipped the cork out with my gnashers. "You can have two glasses," she smiled to me as she poured a second massive measure.
Food and drink: At dinner, the highly forgettable creamy chicken was very airliney. For breakfast I unwisely opted for a pancake; the scrambled eggs looked better and way less carby. That wine was good.
Fellow passengers: Plenty of Americans travelling in small family groups. It's always hard to pick, but I didn't get the sense there were many Kiwis on board, like it feels on the Air New Zealand flights coming this way from out of the States. My bro-dar was quiet.
Airport experience: San Francisco is the way all airports should be — welcoming, clean, modern and well designed, with some terrific food spots. I've never visited the city and this is the first time that a transit trip to an airport has made me decide to put the city on my list. They have chill-out dogs you can pat! How cool is that? My travel buddy and I perched up at the bar of a United Club lounge near our gate, where we revived ourselves with a seriously good red pepper and gouda soup, a glass of pinot and a chat with a drunk American who loves Noo Zealand.
The bottom line: Good service and a premium seat's added legroom make a longhaul in an old bird bearable.