Lonely Planet: Signspotting

Road signs can be a source of great joy to a traveller.

If you're on a long journey by car or bus nothing relieves the boredom quite as much as a sign saying "Cemetery: no exit", "Foul manure for sale" - a paltry joke, true, but still worth a chuckle - or "Blind persons cross here".

Or those wonderful Tui billboards: "We will miss the cheeky whitey. Yeah right." Laughter is a great reviver.

One of my favourites is a sign I saw a few years ago on a farm gate near Tutukaka: "No shooting aloud".

It immediately conjured crazy images of a hunter with a silencer on his gun arguing with the farmer that he was complying with decibel requirements.

And, of course, anyone who's travelled overseas will have seen notices that are unintentionally hilarious, sometimes the result of English being mangled by foreigners, but more often by English-speakers.

Doug Lansky has been accumulating such signs for years and has a website, www.signspotting.com (see link below), where you can send him offerings.

Now Lonely Planet has published the funniest examples from his collection in a small book, Signspotting, which retails for $19.95.

I know I have a twisted sense of humour which is by no means shared by everyone but I found it side-splittingly funny.

The early pictures like the railway station sign advising "For Akita Shinkansen Komachi go back towards your behind", the banner outside the CE Prevatt funeral home proclaiming "Welcome to CE Prevatt open house fun day" or the road sign advising "Six Mile Village: 3 miles" produced grins.

The Chinese restaurant hoarding saying "Welcome big nose friends", the Thai cafe sandwich board announcing "Of clouse we spoke England", the "Ah Chew Hotel" in Singapore, the "Diaria buffet" in Brazil and "Barf bed & breakfast" in England had me sniggering.

But it was the roadside trailer advertising "Wisconsin's finest taxidermy and cheese" which really set me off.

What on earth were they on about? Do they stuff your trophy buffalo with gorgonzola? The tears were rolling down my cheeks.

There are 160 signs altogether, and I don't want to give any more away, but if you haven't managed a few good laughs by the time you've finished Signspotting you've obviously had a humour bypass.