Meet travel influencers Cat with the tatts and Elena-who-looks-a-lot-like-Kate-Moss, who are very in love and very pale and very modelly.
They have been to New Zealand before and also have a mother who loves them and "we didn't ask for money" but she "loves that she is able to help". This mother works two jobs to help them, according to Cat and Elena. I can't help but think even this disclosure may be an obfuscation.
Right now, if you want to help them solve issues such as climate change (really, guys?), mental health (uh huh ...) or something, you can fund their next trip of a lifetime. I'll let them explain it, or not:
"We could write a long text about mental health or global warming. We could tell you about following your dreams, or how important stepping out of your comfort zone is. We could tell you how beautiful travelling is, and it's benefits."
It almost has to be satire, right? People grifting for social media fame while pretending it's for the Greater Good. Pretending it's beneficial for young people to be more concerned with their next incredible, aspirational, perfect Instagram shot than their rent? Their retirement savings? Classic.
Don't even get me started on "climate change". Obviously travel is wonderful but we cannot ignore the impact we make on our planet every time we fly.
I wish all social media tricks were this obvious. Instagram has become a huge platform for young New Zealanders, and our young people are gobbling this stuff up as if it is achievable.
Yes, there are authentic, transparent travel writing voices and other exceptional talents who build huge, authentic social media followings, but the field is so crowded now that these are the exceptions to the rule. These dreamy photos can be dangerous.
If you're behind the curve on what's possible with image-editing, the beauty of "influencers" could seem real — it often isn't. People can add abdominal muscles to their photos, slim their waistlines and perfect their skin in seconds. Time magazine was not exaggerating when it called social media a "toxic mirror".
My theory is a lot of modern influencers have a lot of family money behind them. It feels like simple mathematics and I dropped mathematics too soon in high school.
Last week, Lexie Alford became the youngest person to travel to every country in the world. The story read: "This 21-year-old world record setter says she self-funded her trips to every country in the world."
Cue the giggles, snorts, scoffs.
Forgive me for being cynical about the idea that a 21-year-old can afford to fund her own travel around the world — without parental support — when here in Auckland, many can barely afford rent.
Tone-deaf Instagram model Natalie Schlater posted a photo of herself in a bikini gazing into an Indonesian rice field: "Thinking about how different my life is from the man picking rice in this field every single morning."
Unsurprisingly, commenters took issue with the pseudo-reflection, with the hashtag "depth". A moment of performative self-awareness that was all too skin deep.
Look again at the people you follow on Instagram. Do the numbers add up? Travel is expensive. Are the desires they bring out in you good for your body and your livelihood?
You don't need a picture of yourself in an infinity pool in Bali to be successful. I personally admire people who have quit social media most of all.
Although they are the devil to contact.
• Eleanor Barker is a writer for Travel, a weekly publication distributed on Tuesdays with the Herald