Dragged around Sydney

Be prepared for ridicule as you tour Sydney in a modified Cadillac hearse. Pictures / Tim Richards

Bass Strait, darling? I don't think so!" The things you learn while seated on a bus in a flowing blonde wig, being lectured by a drag queen with a French accent.

Apparently Matthew Flinders and George Bass not only shared a cabin in their circumnavigation of Tasmania, but also wrote each other affectionate letters and shared ownership of a pet cat, Trim.

Our hostess, Claire de Lune, invites us to the obvious conclusion: that the famous explorers were Australia's first white gay couple.

Just another day in the harbour city? Not exactly. I'm on the Sydney by Diva Tour, departing from the vibrant gay strip on Oxford St.

The bus is decorated with a large lipsticked smile, and the passengers are divided into first or economy class. It's not easy being the only two economy-class passengers aboard. My wife and I are frisked before entering, advised to avert our gaze from first-class passengers, and thrown a box of Cheezels to go with our plastic-cupped cheap bubbly.

But the abuse is delivered in a light-hearted spirit, and we sense we have the sympathy of the toffs in the front section of the bus.

In any case, we are all being equally humiliated by the head-protecting gear which we are advised to wear at all times.

The wigs are pretty frightful. My wife looks like Dolly Parton and I'm a refugee from an 80s video clip. But at least we're not stuck with the curly purple number being worn by the Asian-American guy from Texas.

When we leave the bus to join the crowds milling in front of the Sydney Opera House, Claire thoughtfully whips out a maple-leaf flag for us to follow, "So zey will think we are just silly Canadians".

The tour is surprisingly informative, packing in a lot of genuine information about Sydney, albeit with a cheeky camp twist. The sights of the city centre and Bondi are included, followed by a trip to the pub that featured in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

It's here we have our big break, as the passengers give a mass performance of I Love the Nightlife to the pub's bemused punters, hastily choreographed on the bus as we approached the venue. As it's sandwiched between two smooth drag numbers by Claire, the audience doesn't seem to mind.

It's exhilarating fun for the passengers, a surprisingly broad mix of ages and nationalities.

The sense of involvement is also a highlight, though this is less evident in our next tour: The Weird Sydney Ghost and History Tour.

This excursion into the macabre and creepy leaves Kings Cross nightly in a modified Cadillac hearse, fitted with seating in the back. Winding through the streets of inner-city Sydney, with recorded commentary in the fruity tones of the hearse itself, the tour presents tales of hauntings, executions and unexplained events.

Along the way, we pass the hotel where Michael Hutchence died, a haunted police station in an exclusive suburb, a hospital hosting a ghostly nun, and spook-ridden colonial pubs.

We also glance at an exclusive restaurant which was once a VD clinic, and Morticia (our hearse and host) wonders what the diners would think if they discovered its shameful past.

The tour's main drawback is the difficulty of seeing out of the back windows if you're tall, and the lack of stops because parking such a large vehicle is difficult. However, the reaction of passers-by is a delight, calling out as they see us.

The highlight of the evening, though optional, is memorable: a visit to a working bondage brothel in Chippendale, including a brief tour by the Mistress on duty.

As you'd expect, one room features a lot of red and the other a lot of metallic objects. It's a busy night, so we don't get to go upstairs. But our driver later claims that an exhibitionist patron once insisted the group walk over him on the way out.

Divas and hearses aside, there are many ways to see Sydney from a different perspective.

One of the most popular is the Bridge Climb, which takes visitors to the top of the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Safety is paramount, with alcohol tests and personal harnesses coming into play, along with pre-climb simulations and training.

Then the grey-clad group ascends the bridge, with individual radio earpieces giving commentary along the way. The view from the top is stunning, a panoramic view of Sydney Harbour and the Opera House.

Back at street level, The Rocks Ghost Tour explores the oldest part of the city. Though now a tourist playground, the Rocks was once a gritty hotbed of sin and vice, with its narrow alleyways, shady courtyards and pubs frequented by sailors, criminals and prostitutes.

The area's legacy of violence, murder and hangings gives tour guides Brian and Colleen Harrison plenty to work with. Their two tours cover the Dark North Side and Dark South Side of the area.

Sydney also fancies itself as the Hollywood of the South, with many major Australian and international movies shot in its streets and at Fox Studios. The role call includes such flicks as The Matrix, Babe: Pig in the City, Mission Impossible II, Moulin Rouge, Muriel's Wedding, Strictly Ballroom and the new Star Wars episodes.

In many cases the locations are now hard to recognise, but Sydney Movie Tours runs half-day and full-day tours, which include commentary on the film locales, a welcome pack containing a movie history, guides and vouchers.

The full-day tour also includes lunch at the Tropicana Cafe in Darlinghurst, where the Tropfest Short Film Festival was born.

Another way to get a different take on Sydney is to look through the eyes of its original inhabitants, for whom the founding of the city was the start of a long process of displacement. Margret Campbell runs a pair of Aboriginal Heritage and Culture Tours, examining the areas around The Rocks and Bennelong Point.

Each walking tour focuses on indigenous people's use of local waterways and sandstone rock escarpments as resources in everyday life. The tour also features dhurra whurra, a drink made from native vines, the local equivalent of sarsaparilla.

Sydney is a major tourist destination, and every visitor goes home with a camera full of images of the Harbour Bridge, Bondi Beach and the Opera House.

But there's more to the city than the usual tourist icons and their associated tea-towels and T-shirts. These unconventional tours add a twist to the cocktail that is this great city. And I've got the wig rash to prove it. 

* Sydney Aboriginal Heritage and Culture Tours: 61-404-084712