KEY POINTS:
Harold the giraffe is horny. As well as the three protrusions between his ears, that is.
At Orana Wildlife Park, near Christchurch, our children learn that the 5m-plus giant has been separated from neighbouring female giraffes because he is "naughty and a bit rough with the girls". He won't take no for an answer.
Harold's sexual exploits aside, the lanky, long-lashed critters are utterly appealing up close. At designated feeding times, the animals lope over to an elevated viewing platform in search of humans wielding willow branches.
Many of the animals will submit to a spot of neck-scratching while wrapping huge dark tongues around a branch to strip away the tasty leaves. Our boys, 9 and 5, are only slightly perturbed by the quantity of slobber produced by a tongue that size.
Lion saliva is a different story. Neither child likes the sound of the lion feeding tour, where participants pay to be shut inside a cage on the back of a truck and paraded before the big cats at meal time.
Staff toss hunks of meat from the truck while the beasts snarl and roar close enough to see their spittle.
Nor do they yearn to hand-feed the otters. As we watch, the cute critters turn decidedly feral when the keeper runs out of fish and attack him en masse, razor teeth bared. Fortunately, this is not his first day on the job and he deftly whips a garden rake around to keep them at bay.
It is typical of this place that, even while battling to defend his knees and ankles, the keeper good-naturedly answers questions and offers quirky details about the animals.
The park is far less slick and has less funding than Auckland Zoo. But it is endearing, with its sprawling grounds, loads of appealing animals and extensive use of moats in place of high fences and walls.
Volunteers lead group tours and the people at the information centre will stow picnic gear while visitors meander.
The wildlife park sits on the outskirts of town, less than 15 minutes' drive from the airport, which makes it an ideal spot to stretch small legs after a flight.
It is our first stop on a three-day tour of Christchurch and its child-friendly charms.
Heading into town, we find the central city abuzz. Being busker festival week, a couple of corseted, tutu-clad women have drawn a crowd in Cathedral Square as they trill opera atop their spiky red heels.
In the Botanic Gardens, entranced children are gathered around an outdoor puppet theatre, while talented youngsters stroke violins in the streets.
The boys can even watch performers from their beds inside the historic Warners Hotel, which overlooks the square, its landmark Christchurch Cathedral and the old trams that clang and clatter till late.
Almost everything we need, including the museum, parks, punting, shops, the art gallery, cafes and a smart little food hall are within walking distance. Even the large, useful information centre is a minute's walk, alongside the Southern Encounter Aquarium. The aquarium is better than its diminutive size suggests, though the boys wish out loud that it were bigger. There's the requisite petting pool with much-handled starfish and tanks full of oceanic critters.
For some reason, our crew are most fascinated by the real, live national emblems that scurry and sneak behind their glass-walled enclosure like feathery brown burglars. We have been told not to make noise inside the dimly lit kiwi room and have to stifle laughter when the 9-year-old, noticing one bird lunging on to the other's back, whispers "look, Mum, they're scratching each other".
The kiwi are only practising, though. The aquarium guide admits there was a mix-up when they took delivery of what should have been a mating pair; turns out they're both females.
In the evening, we explore a series of narrow lanes and back alleys in what used to be the seedy part of downtown. Old warehouses have been refitted to house tiny boutiques, funky bars and designer clothing stores.
The boys - young and adult - find man heaven in a shop housing motoring memorabilia and classic cars. They lose themselves among the models, pedal cars and penny farthings, Harley Davidson motorbike books and a beautiful old Jaguar.
History is even more accessible between Gothic Revival buildings in the cultural district. At Canterbury Museum, we assume our offspring will want to power through the general exhibits in favour of a child-focused Discovery centre on the upper storey.
But they are more interested in the Maori history section, with its displays of lethal weapons and dioramas showing ancient fishing and hunting methods.
There are oodles of old tractors and rusted huts in the pleasingly realistic Antarctic area and a 2000-year-old Egyptian mummy comes with plenty of gory mummification details. Apparently mummy-makers hooked the deceased person's brain out through a nostril.
Up the road, the city's grand, multi-paned art gallery is running one of its regular school holiday programmes and the boys insist we abandon them to the joys of tea-staining treasure maps. I'd like to say we parents use this time to expand our minds in the wonderful gallery but I'd be lying.
Instead, we hand over a couple of dollars and skive off in search of caffeine, sunshine and a little unimpeded retail therapy. (Art aficionados and CYFS please note, we have visited the gallery before. And we did leave cellphone numbers with art programme staff).
The day's best tip comes from Wesley the punter as he propels us down the Avon River in a long, low-slung wooden boat. Book ahead, he says, request a private boat and pay the same price - $20/adult, $15/child, pre-schoolers free - as you would for a shared trip. As long as they are not too busy.
Wesley also has a stock of duck food on hand for young passengers, blankets in case it gets chilly and a corkscrew and glasses for adults savvy enough to bring wine. For those who forget their bottle, the neighbouring café obligingly sells wine by the glass.
Wesley offers practical tips on where to dine and play in the city and tells us the river level is dropping every year so some boats have to take fewer passengers or risk sinking. This is especially true of notoriously overweight tourists from one nation that he is too gentlemanly to name.
Wesley is big on old-fashioned courtesy and authenticity, with his straw boater and striped suit. Punting ought to be sedate, he says, complete with "poncy" clothes. "If you want to wear wraparound sunglasses, work somewhere else," he says.
Much as we prefer to see the city on foot, some things are worthwhile pursuing in a vehicle. Like the ice skating rink. It's still in the city, off the main road to Lyttelton, and our half-Canadian children take to it like sticks to a hockey puck. The boys wobble happily, with help from their speed-skating father and less confident mother. It is tough to say who has the most fun.
Science Alive is another city attraction with universal appeal. Everything inside the ever-changing exhibit hall is made on site by a former aircraft engineer and his crew. All are designed to illustrate scientific principles. We try the gyroscope and an earthquake simulator, a tornado booth, climbing wall and a nasty drop slide that leaves our stomachs somewhere near our nostrils.
Our southern adventure ends with a trip to the sea, beginning with Sumner's Scarborough Park and its wading pools, attractive café, playground and the rocky coastline that is so different from our own Bay of Plenty. Following the shoreline, we pass kite and wind surfers and glistening oxidation ponds on the way to the fantastic New Brighton library.
This place is a traditionalist's nightmare; a sweeping architectural statement suffused with light, contemporary features and glorious ocean views. It sits on the beach, connected to a spectacular pier that extends 300m out over the waves. On the upper storey, a kind of bridge houses bean bags and gaming consoles, while seaward picture windows on both levels offer lounging chairs and listening posts for music or radio stations.
Food is welcome in one area and visitors are encouraged to bring friends to watch DVDs. The librarians point out free-use computers with internet connections and they allow visitors to use board games and toys as well as books.
It is good to see a city in touch with its younger citizens. However, the past is equally alluring. Be it climbing century-old trees in glorious Hagley Park, riding trams or lounging in a punt, this city offers a palatable, tangible taste of the old days. We don't have magnificent grey stone buildings in Tauranga, nor can we bed down in the same 140-year-old hotel that housed Antarctic explorers Scott and Shackleton. Hopefully, we are infusing our boys with some respect, and curiosity, for history.
We are realists, though. Chances are, their schoolmates will only hear about Harold the naughty giraffe.
Sue Hoffart stayed in Warners Hotel as guest of Christchurch & Canterbury Tourism.
GETTING THERE: Air New Zealand has regular flights to Christchurch. See www.airnz.co.nz
THINGS TO DO: Alpine Ice (skating), $44 family pass, including skate hire, 495 Brougham St, ph (03) 366 9183, www.alpineice.co.nz.
Canterbury Museum, Entry by donation, Discovery $2/child. Rolleston Ave, ph (03) 366 5000, www.canterburymuseum.com.
New Brighton Library, Pier Building, 213 Marine Parade, New Brighton, ph (03) 941 7923.
Orana Park, $49 family pass, McLeans Island Rd, ph (03) 359 7109, www.oranawildlifepark.co.nz.
Punting On The Avon, 2 Cambridge Terrace, (03) 366 0337, www.punting.co.nz.
Science Alive!, $45 family pass, 392 Moorhouse Ave,
ph (03) 365 5199, www.sciencealive.co.nz.
Southern Encounter Aquarium and Kiwi House, $35 family pass, Cathedral Square West, ph (03) 359 7109, www.southernencounter.co.nz.
WHERE TO STAY: Warners Historic Hotel.
Check for last-minute rates - suites from $230 for family of four including breakfast. Warners Corner, 50 Cathedral Square, ph (03) 366 5159, www.warnershotel.co.nz.
FURTHER INFORMATION: Visit www.christchurchnz.com.
