As we rolled into the outskirts of RotoVegas, we popped into Wingspan. This bird sanctuary does incredible work looking after our endangered New Zealand falcons. Every day at 2pm, they put on a fantastic outdoor aerial show. These birds are like lightning, swooping down from miles above and darting through the crowds, missing everyone by inches.
The kids loved it and all got to have the falcon land on their arms, once they had put on the standard Game of Thrones leather falcon glove.
Next, I wanted the kids to experience the unforgettable smells that Rotorua has to offer, so we popped into the Polynesian Spa. Imagine relaxing with your partner in your own private natural mineral spa pool, overlooking Lake Rotorua as the sun sets.
That didn't happen because we had three screaming kids with us who thought the awesome (and packed) family pool complete with slide was a much better idea.
The next day I ruined any relaxed state I may have experienced from the Spa baths by having an adrenalin-filled morning of OGO and Luge. The OGO is quite simple. Hop in a giant ball at the top of the hill, then scream your lungs out for the next minute as you go hurtling down in what feels like an out-of-control washing machine.
Don't forget to bring togs because they put water in the ball with you in it. I didn't realise this when I first went down and had to go in my undies. Long story short, we were the only ones there when I hopped in the ball, but when I hopped out at the bottom I was greeted by a newly arrived bus load of tourists ... Welcome to New Zealand!
From left, Johnny, Evie, Kate and Flynn Cox on the Gondola ride in Rotorua. Photo / Rob Cox
A must in Rotorua is the Luge. The panoramic view at the top of the gondola ride is worth the trip alone. You could sit there all day if you fancied a drop of rouge at the stylish new Volcanic Hills wine tasting room or, if you are like me, you will push your kids out of the way to be the first one at the luge start line.
I had my four-year-old daughter on my lap so we started slow but after a few sharp corners and taunting from Evie's brothers up ahead, she yelled at me to take my hands off the brake and cheered the luge on as we flew through the forests, zipping round corners and ducking through tunnels until we nipped past both brothers at the finish for an epic victory ... and you have to have just one more go before you leave.
Rainbow Springs is a home to our native wildlife. The team there is fantastic with children, explaining all the native plants, birds and fish to kids who are trying to appear interested but mainly just want two things: firstly to hurl as much trout food into the pond as you can and watch the biggest trout of all time have a food battle frenzy; and to go on the Big Splash where you sit in a river boat, then get whooshed up an elevator and spat out into a rapid river, through more educational stuff and history blah, blah, then finally you get to go down the giant waterfall aaaarrrhhh!!!!!
It's a cracking ride, my boys loved it, and my daughter ... not so much.
Time to kiss Rotorua goodbye, pack the car and head for the slopes on Mt Ruapehu. Our kids have never seen snow before so this was going to be a real treat, but even more spectacular was the look on their faces when we pulled into the Chateau.
We arrived on a clear, still evening and the sunset produced a graduation of rich colours that even my cynical colleagues in the Herald graphic artists team would have applauded.
Our daughter was mesmerised with the building and all its glittering lights: "A Barbie castle," she declared.
It was bloody cold, so we got inside quickly and, as usual, spent the next half an hour listening to the kids explain all the exciting things they had discovered in the hotel (my apologies to all staff they may have annoyed).
The next morning it was snow time. One of best things about this place is its location. We were only five minutes' drive from the ski fields. Sadly, after clothing our kids in all their new snow gear, and having borrowed my mate's toboggan, we arrived at Happy Valley to find not a single patch of snow anywhere.
It was a stunning clear day and the views were incredible, but the kids were gutted. I wasn't having a bar of it. I grabbed the boys, and we headed down into Happy Valley and searched high and low until we came across a small patch of real snow.
The boys were over the moon, they made a snowman, sang the songs from the movie Frozen a few dozen times, threw a few snowballs at my head while I wasn't watching, then headed back to the cafe for hot chips. Mission accomplished.
Johnny and Flynn Cox with a snowman at Happy Valley. Photo / Rob Cox
One final thing on my wish list was to have a round of golf on the nine-hole course that sits directly in front of the Chateau. You will never putt on a more rugged green, but what it lacks in grooming, it more than makes up for in unique surroundings.
We spent our final evening at the Chateau, nestled in the Ngauruhoe Room, staring through the giant window that looks out across to the great mountain. It was hard to leave that place and begin the slow journey back to Auckland.
What better way to finish a Kiwi road trip than in a hot pool? We pulled in at Wairakei Resort Taupo and spent the entire day in a heated outdoor pool; one more night away from our regular lives. Auckland can wait.
Again? Yes please.
