Bar/fly: The Argyll, Henley-on-Thames

The Argyll is at 15 Market Place, Henley-on-Thames. Illustration / Rod Emmerson

At this Midsomer pub it's a case of murder most appetising, says Kevin Pilley.

You are guaranteed to pull if you step into the Argyll, Neil Ainsworth's pub in the middle of Henley-on-Thames. Its Kiwi landlord insists you pull your own pint of "Midsomer Ale" and toast DCI Barnaby and the 300 murders that have been committed in the area in the past 16 years.

New Zealander by blood but Singapore-born, Ainsworth runs the pub in the market square of the ancient town in Oxfordshire, an hour west of London.

"Midsomer Murders is a global phenomenon and we get people from all over coming in wanting to see where Inspector Barnaby met Pru Plunkett, the tidy clinical psychiatrist. The Argy's the only pub in world with a red MM location plaque. People stop and come in and have their photo taken. On set! My teeth have cramp from all the smiling.

"It's amazing how many customers Midsomer pulls in. It's made this part of the Thames a cash stream."

Neil's father was born in Waitara. He was a merchant seaman, meeting Neil's mother in London. The family is now spread across Napier, Masterton and Christchurch. "The show is popular everywhere. The Belgians are nuts about it. So are the Germans and Scandinavians. But I have had Brazilians in here as well as Kiwis. Jason Hughes, who plays Ben Jones in the show, pops in.

"There are Midsomer walking and self-drive trails as well as coach tours. It's bonkers.
You can visit 150 locations. The area leads the TV/film tourism drive."

Midsomer Murders is in its 17th series and 104th episode with six more whodunnits, originally adapted from Caroline Graham's novels, already commissioned, to be aired in 2016. The programme has a global audience of six million spread over 200 countries.

The MM location trails take you to some of the most picturesque villages in the UK - Sonning, Dorchester, Warborough and Wallingford.

You can also visit pubs and restaurants seen in the show like the Swan at Streatley, the Fleur de Lys in Dorchester, Leatherne Bottel at Goring, and, of course, the Argyll.

"People leave with a smile on their face humming the theme music. They leave impersonating a theremin. That's an early electronic instrument you don't touch to play."

George Clooney has just bought a house nearby. Liam Gallagher, Rowan Atkinson and George Michael have homes there too. Beatle George Harrison used to live close by. As did Ian Fleming, the creator of James Bond.

"It's strange with all the celebrities living here that fictional characters are more important. It makes people's lives to find Anton Thorneycroft's butcher's shop in town [seen in The Magician's Nephew episode] or be photographed in Badger's Drift. Or stand where John Nettles did. One asked me if he could use the same pint glass as he did."

Neil offers burgers, steaks and pub grub classics like doorstep sandwiches and beer-battered fish and chips. But frog poison, hemlock or powdered glass aren't on the menu. The Argy is a friendly boozer. You don't get bludgeoned to death by a cricket bat, thrown down a well, crushed by a forklift, run over by a combine harvester, impaled by a trident or drowned in a cider vat.

Unless you are in character.

CHECKLIST

Getting there: Air New Zealand flies daily from Auckland to London via Los Angeles. Henley-on-Thames is an hour's drive west of London.

Details: The Argyll is at 15 Market Place, Henley-on-Thames.