By MICHELE CRAWSHAW
Any dreams of one day retiring to my own vineyard and setting up a wine label have been rudely shattered.
A few days in South Australia, the country's wine capital and home to some of the world's most famous wines, has made me realise something: namely that a talent for drinking wine unfortunately does not equate to a talent for making the stuff. Better cancel that place at viticultural school.
I admit it was naive to think that some of the knowledge imparted by the first-class winemakers I met might have rubbed off on me. But your mind can play funny tricks on you after visiting five wineries every day - and that's before lunchtime.
Suddenly, you begin to think the step from picking capsicum flavours in a sauvignon blanc to selling your own wine label is really much shorter than you once believed.
There was nothing for it then, but to do as South Australians do and try my hand at making wine. Of course, few winemakers would be prepared to let anyone practise on their prized grapes so the next best thing is to head along to the National Wine Centre in Adelaide where you can test your talents in a "virtual" fashion.
This is when you realise that turning grapes into something drinkable is a little harder than it may look. My first harvest - a Hunter Valley riesling made with hand-picked grapes aged in stainless steel tanks for 10-30 days was assessed by the National Wine Centre judging panel and found to be "the perfect accompaniment to an awful meal". My wine would apparently "find a niche as a cleaning agent for exterior surfaces". I was told to seek professional advice before attempting to make more wine.
Advice I should have heeded. My next few batches of shiraz and cabernet sauvignon were invariably described as "staggeringly awful" and likely to "singlehandedly destroy" the reputation of a wine company. No room for any confusion there.
I decided for the remainder of my visit to stick to what I was good at: drinking wine. Fortunately, there are few better places in the world to do just that.
South Australia is the country's wine Mecca, producing more than 70 per cent of Australia's total wine exports and home to around 240 wineries.
It's such a huge part of life here that there are areas where you'd be hard pressed to find a school or a dairy, but can trip over half a dozen wineries in a row.
Auckland wine retailers and restaurants stock only a few South Australian wines so a visit here is a chance to get to know the superb wines from its famous winemaking districts - among them Barossa Valley (famous for its shiraz), McLaren Vale (rich, full-bodied reds), Clare Valley (dry riesling), and Adelaide Hills (sparkling and white wines). The wines produced by each area are so diverse that it can be like taking a bit of a world wine tour in the one spot.
Most wineries have cellar doors with wine tastings while a few also have cafes and accommodation. Don't worry if you're not a wine snob. In fact it doesn't matter if you don't know your chardonnay from your semillon - Australian winemakers are, generally speaking, a colourful lot, happy to share their knowledge and help you to broaden your wine palate.
One winery not to be missed is Sevenhill Cellars in the picturesque Clare Valley, a 90-minute drive north of Adelaide, where Jesuit Brother John May has been making wine since before many of his contemporaries were born. The 74-year-old is chief winemaker at Sevenhill, run by the Society of Jesus, which supplies sacramental wine for churches across Australia and Asia-Pacific.
His approach to winemaking is a little different to most others: he has to be careful not to breach Vatican rules when he produces thousands of litres of wine each year. "There can be no artificial additives and it has be fortified to 17.5 per cent alcohol in one operation," he says. "They [the Catholic Church] just want a pure product."
Brother May, who has been making wine since 1972, does get to loosen the rules with Sevenhill's 19 other wines, which are sold to the public and exported. And very fine drops they are, too.
The oldest winery in Clare, Sevenhill is well worth a visit to meet Brother May and tour the winemaking operation, the church built in 1866, and the underground crypt.
There is plenty else to see while you're in Clare Valley. It's an epicure's delight with great restaurants, world-famous olive oil estates and of course great wine. The best way to see it all, as well as the surrounding historic villages, is on foot or bike along the Riesling Trail - a 27km track which will take you to the cellar doors of many wineries and tourist spots.
You can continue the wining and dining theme in McLaren Vale, about 40 minutes southeast of Adelaide, driving through gorgeous country lanes and stopping at cellar doors along the way. (Etiquette note: when you're tasting red wines make sure the person standing next to the spittoon on the floor isn't wearing white pants.)
The weekend organic markets here are a must. Here you can sample the fantastic local produce, including almonds any way you like them - coated with everything from chocolate and ginger to chilli and sugar.
It would be easy to spend all of your time in the ever-so-charming countryside, exploring tiny villages and doing your best to try all of the wines made here, but that would mean missing out on the treat that is Adelaide. The main centre for South Australia, it's at first glance a rather demure city where churches and grand sandstone buildings dominate.
But a visit to the sprawling Central Market is a good chance to discover the other side to Adelaide. One of the region's cultural icons, the 130-year-old market is swarming with locals seeking the fantastic fresh local produce including seafood, fruit and vegetables, chocolate, coffee and fair dinkum Australian bush tucker.
There are more than 80 stalls, and almost as many cultures represented here. This is also where you'll find Adelaide's Chinatown, and down the road you can experience the city's most famous culinary delicacies with a stop at the nearby Balfour's Pie Cart. Here you'll get a legendary Pie Floater which they have been serving in Adelaide since 1915 - an upside-down pie swimming in a bowl of green pea soup and topped with tomato sauce.
It's an, er, acquired taste and probably best downed at 3am after a few drinks when you're not all that fussy. But at least you can say you've tasted a piece of South Australian history.
* Michele Crawshaw was hosted by South Australian Tourism.
Case Notes
Getting there
Flight Centre has packages starting at $989 a person share twin plus airport taxes of about $110 each. Return airfares are ex Auckland, Wellington or Christchurch to Adelaide via Melbourne. Price includes three nights' accommodation and a four-day Hertz group A rental car.
House of Travel is offering two package deals until March 31. "Affordable Adelaide" includes return flights via Melbourne and a three-night stay from $859 while "Adelaide & A Taste Of Wine" includes return flights, four-day rental car and six-night stay from $1179.
When to go
Spring and summer when the weather is near-perfect. Hot, dry days and mild nights. Temperatures can get up to 40C in some parts.
Things to do
Check into the Fire Station Inn where you can sleep with an original 1942 fire tender at the foot of your bed. There is a fire pole in the room, too, in case you feel like re-enacting that famous Bridget Jones's Diary scene.
Visit the beachside resort of Glenelg which has great shopping, bars and restaurants, then take a 20-minute tram ride back into the city.
Hire a car from Adelaide and take a self-drive winery tour to the Adelaide Hills (about 15 minutes from the city). Stop for lunch at Lunch On The Pond where you can dine in a picturesque setting overlooking a lily pond and 5ha of beautiful gardens. Stay the night at The Orangerie, a breathtaking Provence-inspired bed and breakfast.
Clare Valley, a 90-minute drive from Adelaide, is a food and wine lover's paradise. It has more than 30 boutique wineries and is the home of Australian riesling. Dine at Skillogalee Restaurant and Winery then drive a few metres down the road and stay the night at Skillogalee House, set on a working vineyard, which has been turned into a top-notch bed and breakfast.
There are a further 60-plus wineries in the McLaren Vale and Fleurieu Peninsula area, about an hour southeast of Adelaide. The region is best known for its full-bodied red wines, beautiful beaches and almond fields. Dine at one of South Australia's best seafood restaurants, the clifftop Star of Greece, with spectacular views over the Fleurieu Peninsula. At low tide you can see the wreck of the cargo ship the restaurant was named after.
The National Wine Centre is the only one of its type in the world and is a good chance to learn more about Australia's wine history and have a go at making your own wine. It boasts the country's biggest open wine cellar, which holds an impressive 32,000 bottles.
Getting around
Public transport, including the tram, is easy and cheap. You can hire tour guides to take you to any of the wine valleys or hire a car.
Information
For more information on South Australian holidays, phone the South Australian Tourism Commission, phone (09) 914 9848.
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