KEY POINTS:
If you'd told me a week earlier I would be sleeping inside a giant crocodile, drinking croc-tails and fully in the grip of croc-fever, there is no way I would have believed you.
Yet here I was in Jabiru, three hours' drive from Darwin in Australia's Northern Territory, in the Gagudju Crocodile Holiday Inn - an enormous green hotel in the shape of a croc, complete with eyes and scaly tail.
My room is up in the crocodile's shoulder and I'm so excited about staying here I can barely speak.
Australia seems to have a fondness for building big versions of things. In Bill Bryson's Down Under he writes excitedly of coming across the Big Lobster in Kingston, South Australia. There are more than 100 big things randomly dotted aroud Australia including a Big Oyster, a Big Pie, and the World's Largest Rolling Pin.
Anyway, back to the Crocodile Hotel. Croc-tails are on offer at the hotel bar and there is a huge taxidermied "snapping handbag" in the foyer. And I find, to my surprise, that I'm desperate to see one of these deadly beasts in the flesh.
The hotel is one of the attractions in this wild and desolate part of the Outback famed for its abundance of estuarine (saltwater) and freshwater crocs.
But although croc-spotting was a definite highlight of my four-day stay in the region, there is plenty of other wildlife to enjoy in this small part of the NT.
There aren't many places in the world where, as the sun goes down across a glorious pink and orange sky, you can watch a procession of wild animals pass by less than 50m away.
But from the deck of luxury wilderness lodge Bamurru Plains, a 20-minute flight from Darwin, a congregation of floodplain natives ambled in front of us in small groups, as if they were on their way to the Ark.
Even our hosts were amused at the line-up of water buffalo, wallabies, ducks, brumbies (wild horses) and about 15 pigs in varying shapes and sizes (the smallest, of course, at the rear) that passed before us, promising they hadn't witnessed such a sight in the few months they've been operating on this relatively small section of Swim Creek Station.
The African-style lodge, which has just made Conde Nast's 2007 Hot List, has been set up to make the most of its native environment while treating it with the utmost respect.
It offers a non-traditional five-star experience - you have to use a torch to get to your bungalow (dodging the obstinate and rather revolting cane toads), and candles and lanterns provide much of the light (most of the power is solar).
There is no cellphone reception, no television, and no internet, leaving you free to enjoy your surroundings with few distractions.
We're woken at 6.30am on our first morning with a tray of coffee and a warm muffin. It's a chance to enjoy the slowly wakening floodplains from our raised-platform bungalows with their walls made of airy screens - the cries of the magpie geese dominate the early morning misty atmosphere, and the wallabies fearlessly bound about in front of us, unaware they can be seen.
A day of activity beckons and we head out on to the wetlands in an airboat - a kind of hovercraft that seamlessly skims over the water.
Zipping through some areas of the plains the grass is eye-level, and from my seat at the front I bat away hundreds of grasshoppers, dragonflies, and other bugs - this is not the place to come if you don't like creepy-crawlies.
Mid-morning we pull up in an area filled with purple and white water lilies for a peaceful picnic provided by the lodge's chef, and float quietly, absorbing our surroundings.
The four-hour journey on the airboat takes in many of the sights of this part of the Mary River system - which, according to our guide contains 200 saltwater crocodiles every kilometre.
We see no evidence of crocs this morning but do see a harmless water python slithering through the water.
The airboat startles hundreds of nesting magpie geese across the floodplains, but the driver is careful to follow a path avoiding the nests, which we can see are full of eggs.
We're lucky enough to head out on the airboat again late afternoon towards the coast to enjoy the blazing sunset and an ice cold beer.
After a freshen up in the bungalow's ensuite bathroom, we meet on the deck for canapes (satay camel skewers and oysters) before a four-course dinner.
First up is an Asian-style crocodile dish wrapped in lettuce leaves (delicious), mud crabs which we must smash open with mallets, buffalo steak, and a banana dessert, which I cannot fit in.
Other gourmet delights sampled during our stay included: Tasmanian trout; a camel, emu and buffalo game pie cooked in terracotta flower pots; chicken baked for four hours in sourdough bread; and sweetcorn pie. The wine selection is excellent and the lodge has a bar you can help yourself to at any time.
The professional and knowledgeable Bamurru Plains staff have invested their hearts and souls into this lodge and it shows. Other activities on offer include a 4WD open-top safari, walks which include sampling bush tucker such as green ants, and river cruises.
The 35C heat isn't as uncomfortable as it sounds - the camp's activities are scheduled to operate at the cooler ends of the day when the animals are most active. This gives you free time when the temperature is at its most ferocious to swim in the pool, relax inside the lodge's communal area or hang out in your air-conditioned bungalow.
Our weekend is spent with a true blue, fair dinkum Aussie bloke who has spent his life in this area of the NT. Sab Lord has been a tour guide for 17 years and says the tourism of the area can be split into two eras - before and after the 1986 film Crocodile Dundee.
Lord's Kakadu and Arnhem Land 4WD safaris are a personal experience as Sab has forged special relationships with many of the local Aboriginal people and has sole access to many areas and indigenous guides.
He shows us around a tiny portion of the huge Kakadu National Park - about 20,000 sq km. We try to gauge the scale during an hour-long Kakadu Air flight from nearby Jabiru to Jim Jim Falls.
The area is dominated by the ancient sandstone escarpment, which has an Aboriginal sacred site called Lightning Dreaming as its centrepiece, and the two sets of falls are spectacular at this time of year.
Our first real croc fix comes during a gentle two-hour boat cruise along the Yellow Water Billabong in the Kakadu Wetlands. The boat's operator spots him before we do - he's so still and blends into the bank. He's a good size, about 3.5m long, and has his mouth wide open, showing his sizeable teeth (they do this to cool down). Warnings about keeping all limbs in the boat are strictly heeded.
As we idle only a few metres away the croc makes a couple of sudden movements to the water's edge, thinks for a bit, then scrambles into the water. He sinks down and slowly swims away partially submerged, giving everyone on the boat a thrill.
As well as the crocs we see a host of bird life including white-bellied sea eagles, jabirus, jacanas, pied herons and whistling kites.
Nearby is the Warradjin Cultural Centre, operated by the local Aboriginal people, which explains aspects of their culture through a range of exhibitions.
And Aboriginal rock art can be viewed up close at Ubirr, an ancient site not far from the centre, which also offers views across the Nardab floodplain.
Our arrival back in Darwin signals a return to city life, to traffic, to mobile phones, and to reality. And with it, the waning of my croc fever.
* Shandelle Battersby travelled as a guest of Tourism Northern Territory.
Checklist
Kakadu National Park
Getting There
Air NZ operates daily flights from Auckland to Darwin via Brisbane with Qantas (an overnight is required in Brisbane). Online fares start from $625 one-way. The park is three hours' drive east from Darwin or an hour's flight.
Accommodation
Bamurru Plains Lodge costs A$1275 ($1437) single adult, A$850 couple, minimum two-night stay, price includes accommodation, food, beverages and scheduled activities. See www.bamurruplains.com.
Gagudju Crocodile Holiday Inn, in Jabiru, is at www.gagudju-dreaming.com
Activities
Details of Kakadu Air scenic flights are at www.kakaduair.com.au. Yellow Water Cruises, at Cooinda, are on the web at www.yellowwatercruises.com. Lord's Kakadu & Arnhemland Safaris offer a range of tour options, including some in conjunction with Bamurru Plains. See www.lords-safaris.com
Further Information
www.travelnt.com/en/ or www.environment.gov.au/parks/kakadu/
