Auckland mum verbally abused on flight for child’s cries, says babies not the problem

Aucklander Dr Tania O'Brien was flying home from Bali with one-year-old Roman.

An Auckland mother who claims her 1-year-old was verbally abused for crying on a plane has spoken out, saying: “babies aren’t the problem on flights”. It’s the other passengers.

Tania O’Brien was flying home from a family holiday in Bali on Monday night with son Roman aboard Qantas flight QF44. She said that she experienced hostility from her fellow passengers for bringing a young child on the late flight, full of tired tourists.

Males in the three seats in front took exception to being seated near a young child.

O’Brien said that they were tough-guy types, who were “swearing at my baby for crying”. All the time they were extremely loud themselves. The men were laughing raucously, preventing the child from going to sleep.

At one point the rowdy passengers had to be asked to move to let O’Brien out of her seat and Qantas flight staff had refused to serve the passengers alcohol.

“I flew many times from Bahrain and Dubai to NZ and never had any issues or even a single comment before,” she said.

“‘Tell your baby to shut the f*** up’ was a new one.”

O’Brien, who is a medical doctor, has spent 16 years living in the UAE, Bahrain and Middle East, and has flown many times with her family. She had moved to New Zealand for family reasons, but her husband still works in Dubai. In her experience, it was not babies who were the problem but the route and other travellers sharing the plane cabin.

“I think night flights are great, but you’re banking on other passengers allowing your baby to sleep,” she says. On busy routes with lots of leisure travellers, like those from Bali and Thailand, other passengers can be less tolerant towards young kids. She says it is especially bad if passengers have been drinking beforehand.

“Holiday destinations are probably the worst for that.”

Her experience of travelling long haul or commuting routes in the Gulf are that passengers and airlines are more tolerant and understanding of the needs of people flying with young kids.

“We saw a lot of kindness towards our children, some airlines even have ‘sky nannies’ that will take your child down the back to play while you get some rest or eat in peace,” says O’Brien of her experience living in Dubai.

The trip to Bali was to celebrate Roman’s first birthday and see his father, who had spent the past five months in the UAE.

I’m sorry.

They really are the exception.

My 13 month old has take over a dozen flights and people have always been helpful. Including Turkish grandma who whisked her up when I was getting a bottle ready for her at Istanbul airport.

— Stephanie Thompson (@traintheteacher) September 13, 2023

She said Qantas staff were extremely kind to mums flying solo, especially one cabin crew member called Grace who had been extremely helpful on the flight from Auckland. She called Roman “little buddy” and looked after the child while O’Brien had to use the toilet.

Qantas staff also had to step in on the flight home, when the rowdy passengers were causing issues for the mum.

“The flight attendants were very helpful and told the drunk men to raise their seats,” said O’Brien.

“It was during meal service so nobody was going to sleep anyway, " she said, feeling they were trying to be purposefully obtrusive.

Fortunately the men disembarked in Sydney, leaving the family in peace for the connection to Auckland.

Qantas did not have any comment on O’Brien’s experience but has a zero-tolerance policy on disruptive behaviour towards fellow passengers.

O’Brien took to social media to share her experience where she agreed crying kids can be an issue, but the experience depends largely on the airline, the route and fellow passengers.

“It can be pretty hard on [children] at times, and then other times they travel like an absolute dream,” said the experienced traveller.