A life of luxury at sea

By PATRICK GOWER

They call her the Legend of the Seas. And what a legend she is, so legendary that the cruise ship was the talk of Tauranga when we pulled into town.

Hundreds came just to admire the monster in her dock. Many more cast sideways glances at groups of her passengers as they strolled through town, conspicuous by their American accents and the seemingly compulsory cigarettes.

While they looked on, I got on; my first cruise ship holiday - all the way to Auckland. I wasn't going far but there was a lot to learn.

The first thing to get to grips with was that this Legend was a "she" and a "ship," not a boat. No room for landlubbers here, matey.

It also became quickly apparent that cruise ships really do cruise. With our little trip to Auckland set down for two nights and a day, would the captain even put his foot down?

The Legend of the Seas, impressive from the outside, is even better when you get inside.

Its centrepiece is a huge atrium and manmade waterfall, with sweeping staircases, open balconies and twin glass lifts ferrying passengers through the ship.

She is a feat of engineering - they call her the "ship of light" - with nearly two acres of glass used to ensure passengers can see outside from virtually any public part of the liner.

There are slate floors or wall-to-wall carpet, marble fittings with gold trim, sculptures fill the open spaces and murals cover the walls.

Staff shuffle quietly as boarding time approaches. A Latino band starts up and hundreds of passengers begin to fill the empty space, on their way for drinks in one of the three bars, heading to the live Broadway-style show in the theatre or just waiting for the first sitting in the main dining room to begin.

It is quite a sight. While the knockers might say everyone is old, overweight and American, to be fair this is the tail-end of a world tour aimed at the older market.

Travel agents say that across the board the pendulum swinging back - the average age of cruisers is now said to be 40.

The 1800 passengers are from Nebraska, Oregon, Alaska and Ohio, and almost all are addicted to the culture of "cruising." One pair of couples from opposite sides of America are on their third cruise together - they met on one and now arrange to go again each year.

The market is not just American - one million Brits cruise each year as well - and as more and more ships come to New Zealand, the travel agents say it is only a matter of time before it catches on here as well.

So what's in it for the average traveller? Well, lots and lots of food, American-style.The ship is big and the meals - all included in your ticket price - are too. On arrival we hit room-service up for a snack
before dinner - steak sandwich with fries and extra mayo times two, thank you. Then there's breakfast (buffet), lunch (buffet), snacks from the all-day nonstop pizzeria and dinner in the ship's enormous dining room.

If you don't want to eat, you can drink: the Schooner Bar before dinner for a few, a couple of wines with your meal, head to the Champagne Bar for a cocktail afterwards and then up to the nightclub on top of the ship to round things off with a couple of quiets.

Waking with a hangover on a cruise ship is kind of nice; the sound of the boat slowly slicing through the waves, and a brisk sea breeze blowing through the ranchslider open to the balcony outside.

Like any hotel, there's an in-house movie to idle away an hour, and the ship has its own television channel to advertise attractions at the next stop.

The ship will spend today at sea. Its passengers have stopped virtually every day around New Zealand, and today is set down for a chance to enjoy the ship.

For many that means burying one's head in the latest Dick Francis or Tom Clancy novel, an afternoon beside the pool in the solarium (the weather didn't suit the outdoor pool) or a small game of bingo set up in one of the bars.

If that doesn't suit, there's always a workout, a seaweed wrap (costs extra), a jog on the running track around the roof, a game of mini-golf or a walk on the decks.

If you have children, the ship is equipped for up to 300. There's a nursery and children's area on board, but it's completely empty this trip.

There's a shopping centre, all duty-free, but beware - like the cashless society in the rest of the ship, it is all waiting for you in American dollars at the end of your trip.

(Best to remember this when you're in the casino - a blackjack loss can really bite.)

It takes a lot of staff to keep all this running - 735 in total, a ratio of nearly one to every two passengers.

Big Kenneth from Jamaica makes soup in the kitchen, a young Swedish blond works in the Schooner Bar, a Filipino called Saysa is in the galley, an Indian stirs the sauce, and in the bakery are Alka, from Manila, with colleagues Alfredo and Mario.

The kitchen alone has 200 staff from more than 20 nationalities.

The kitchen itself is two storeys, all covered in stainless steel and joined by an elevator where they fire food with military precision through a chain of chefs, sous chefs to the head chef.

The same staff serve the same guests throughout the cruise, a relationship that comes in handy on the last night when the tipping envelopes - neatly titled "my waiter" and "my assistant waiter" - come out after a Hi-de-hi-style farewell musical.

The man at the top is Captain Bengt Rosen. He can calmly steer this 75,000-tonne ship with a joystick if he wants to, and confirms that she does go dead slow - "cruising" at just four knots an hour - and at times will go in circles or make figure eights to extend the sensation of cruising beyond getting from point A to point B.

That is what cruising is all about, really: an all-inclusive holiday where you don't have to worry about your meals, unpacking your room, paying bills and endless currency-changing.

Americans view cruising much differently. For them it is a value-for-money trip rather than a once-in-a-lifetime extravagance.

"I love to cruise," says one passsenger.

"If you like your first cruise, you will just want to cruise again and again and again."

CASENOTES:


COSTS: Legend of the Seas 14-night Tasman cruise (Sydney to Auckland or vice versa) starts at about $2500 each, twin-share, and includes a one-way economy-class flight.

New Zealand's most popular cruise - seven nights in Alaska (Vancouver to Vancouver) including all onboard meals, activities, entertainment and port taxes - costs from $1895 each, twin share, cruise only.

CONTACT: Royal Caribbean International New Zealand, phone 0800 CRUISE (278 473).