Next you'll be able to marry them! Virgin Australia has unleashed Australia's first frequent flyer programme for pets.

Sideswipe column for June 28

Paul's favourite brand of hot chips, Birds Eye, has cut the size of their bags of chips by a whopping 25 per cent but the retail price charged by Countdown has only been reduced by a miserly 8 per cent.

John writes: "My lovely wife Polly is always losing her mobile, and as she doesn't get a lot of calls, is not overly familiar with the ring. The other day she couldn't find it anywhere so picked up the landline in the office and rang her mobile.

My sister and nephew came to visit me when I was a student in the fair city of Stirling in Scotland.

A good friend of mine in the demolition business has done well lately in Christchurch and treated himself to a new family car.

Cameron writes: "Apparently it is not correct to eat an apple top down (north pole to south pole).

In March this ad appeared briefly on real estate listing and its Benny Hill 70s inappropriateness was noted in Sideswipe. Now the Advertising Standard Authority has ruled it was in breach.

A Hamilton pensioner emailed Aussie toothpaste company to say he had to cut open the tube with a Stanley knife.

A Wisconsin town might have finally figured out a way to deal with childhood bullies: fine their parents.

A reader from Pukekohe writes: "We live opposite the fenced-off playground in Newsham Park and it is getting beyond a joke.

Fraser Heron spotted this in The Warehouse, Rotorua.

A cyclist was stopped by police in Keynsham, Somerset, for not wearing "the right road bike clothing".

A hedgehog in Bude, Cornwall, England, was taken to the vet because he was so big and round that he couldn't walk or curl up.

Women's body shapes have long been scrutinised and categorised - the apple, the bell, the cello - and now men can enjoy the same classification.

Megan took this photo in the street in Karvina, Moravia, Czech Republic.

"A month ago my 18-year-old daughter was diagnosed with deep vein thrombosis," writes Camilla.

Powerless consumer John writes: "Last October-November, Mighty River cold-called my 85-year-old widowed mother and offered to significantly improve on her power bill.

Comedian Kurt Braunohler raised $6000 on Kickstarter to "hire a man in a plane to write stupid things in the sky".

Sideswipe for May 17