Latest from Holiday Accommodation

Deals hard work at luxury end

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More hotel collapses predicted

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Hilton picks Taupo for its second NZ hotel

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Vacancy signs out after quiet summer

Accommodation stats show 11pc slump in March

Victoria: Lost in luxury

My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to fly to Melbourne alone, pick up a rental car, drive north out of the city for an hour-and-a-half, then find several places off the beaten track where I would be buffed and pampered to my heart's content.