COMMENT: Family violence is not just a male problem. If we as a nation are really serious about reducing family violence, we need to talk about family violence in all its forms and all its causes, writes Bob McCoskrie

WATCH: Five years ago Emily Longley was murdered by her ex-boyfriend. Her father Mark talks about the terrible toll of losing his daughter.

Family violence is an epidemic in New Zealand. So what is the solution?

Helen Meads was shot dead just days after leaving a violent relationship. Since then, her father David White has crusaded against family violence in a bid to save others' lives.

Helen Meads was shot dead just days after leaving a violent relationship. Since then, her father has crusaded against family violence in a bid to save others' lives.

Under reforms battered women who kill their abusers would be able to claim self-defence even if the threat of violence was not imminent.

Family violence victim: At the start he smothered me with love - he was so loving but if I went against his word I was hit by a torrent of abuse.

We asked readers to share their stories for our family violence series. This is what they told us.

Family violence never sleeps or takes a break and those on the front line know that better than anyone.

"Sick and tired" of seeing stories about men abusing women and children, Harry Haira decided to do his bit to help solve the issue.

COMMENT: Why do men who kill their wives or partners receive such short jail sentences?

Jeremy Eparaima punched, kicked, bashed, choked and bullied his way through a marriage and two relationships - now he's speaking out in a bid to reach other men.

COMMENT: There's a sad fact about violence in this country: how safe you are is determined the second you are conceived.

He knows first hand about perpetrators because he was one - but for the past 10 years Aaron Steedman has been committed to helping other men change their behaviour.

At 18-years-old the last thing you want to think about is domestic abuse, because "surely it wouldn't happen to me". It did.

I was 18, I had just been stabbed multiple times by my ex-boyfriend. "Don't worry, we'll be together in heaven soon," he whispered as he tried to suffocate me.

In most cases the victim of intimate partner violence is a woman, but we must not forget that men are also abused in their homes.

The sister of a victim speaks out about helping her flee a violent relationship and the heartbreak when she returned.

It happens in the poorest of homes and the richest. Among the victims are our most educated people, and our most vulnerable.

Polly Gillespie reveals what it was like growing up next door to a violent man and what she wishes her family had done differently to deal with it.

New Zealand has the worst rate of family and intimate-partner violence in the world. A shocking 80% of incidents go unreported.

Prime Minister John Key discusses how family violence rates in New Zealand are too high.

Superintendent Tusha Penny has worked on the front line for many years so she has seen it all —the wives beaten beyond recognition, the girlfriends strangled almost to death and the countless women lying dead in their own homes.

On average, police attend a family violence incident every five and a half minutes - that's 279 calls for help each day. Why is it so bad? No one knows for sure.

New Zealand has the worst rate of family violence in the developed world.

COMMENT: Men who hit women are bullies and control freaks and they're dangerous. If you choose violence, you need to own it and get help.

Five years ago Emily Longley was murdered by her ex-boyfriend. Her father Mark talks about the terrible toll of losing his daughter.

Let us not soften the language we use about a man who hits a woman. It has been called domestic violence or partner violence.