The Resilient Farmer talks depression to Dannevirke farmers

A Dannevirke Services and Citizen's Club was packed with close to 200 farmers and wives recently, to listen to Doug Avery, author of the best-selling book "The Resilient Farmer", talk about his journey to resilience.

In 90 minutes he mixed wisdom and example, humour, tragedy and experience to illustrate how people can be happy and secure by developing "emotional intelligence".

Doug Avery has been in the depths of depression. After eight years of drought in Marlborough he could see no way out.

Then a friend suggested going to a lecture about using lucerne as the best use of meagre rainfall and "it flicked a switch" in his thinking.

While lucerne came to transform the agricultural economy in Marlborough it also caused Doug to develop a set of strategies to cope with depression and the events which fuel it. He calls it his "go-to tool box".

He told the Dannevirke audience that resilience - the capacity to deal with setbacks - develops in good times when you cultivate a range of relationships with people who can be relied upon to help in bad times.

He says everyone should have a "mentor" - someone who can give you honest assessment of your situation (like a helicopter hovering over you farm), then provide advice and support.

He drew on the metaphor of geese flying in V-formation behind the front flier, honking support and eventually taking over the responsibility to lead. "Everyone needs mentor support and to take a rest once in a while," he said. "Farmers are frequently front fliers with no honking support".

Another of his "tools" was to embrace change. He said people are too often frightened of failure based on past experiences. "If you try something you either win or you learn," he said, "No failure is ever wasted".

He was insistent that people need to have a future focus - if you don't have HOPE he said you are broken and you need help. "The future takes care of the present," he remarked.

Organising your thoughts in the "drafting section of the front paddock" processing part of your brain is essential to handle information, "parking bad news in the holding pen for a while to consider options and gain advice but not taking too long".

Above all you have to laugh as often as you can - it's great for everyone.

Doug tours the country and now into the cities telling his story trying to help people find hope just as Sir John Kirwin did. He feels he is better off doing this than working on the farm which is in the capable hands of his son.

He constantly gets calls to mentor people "who are broken" and he hopes he can help them "flick the switch". There is no better feeling than this," he said.

Thanks to the sponsors NZ Beef and Lamb, BNZ, Rabobank, Wrightsons, FMG, Farm Source and the ADB Williams Trust the East Coast Rural Support Trust was able to bring Doug Avery to Dannevirke.

Its message says "When circumstances beyond your control lead to crises - be it financial, climatic or personal stress, an experienced rural person is just a phone call away. Help is free and confidential."

Tararua Co-ordinator Jane Tylee says the Trust can access funds to help people and communities get back on their feet. It also is currently running "good yarn workshops" and provides other support independently and in strictly confidential terms.

WHERE TO GET HELP ¦If you are worried about yours or someone else's mental health, the best place to get help is your GP or local mental health provider. However, if you or someone else is in danger or endangering others, call police immediately on 111. ¦Or if you need to talk to someone else:
East Coast Rural Support Trust: Freephone 0800 787 254. LIFELINE: 0800 543 354 (available 24/7) SUICIDE CRISIS HELPLINE: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7) YOUTHLINE: 0800 376 633 KIDSLINE: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7) WHATSUP: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm) DEPRESSION HELPLINE: 0800 111 757 (available 24/7) SAMARITANS: 0800 726 666 OUTLINE: 0800 688 5463 (confidential service for the LGBTQI+ community, their friends and families) RURAL SUPPORT TRUST: 0800 787 254.