Pete Fitz-Herbert: The problem with ‘coconut milk’

Coconut AND milk - not coconut milk. Photo / Tijana Drndarski / Unsplash

Opinion: His father-in-law’s innocent “coconut milk” mistake at the supermarket has Manawatū farmer Pete Fitz-Herbert thinking about food labels, “nut juice” and the meaning of communication in relationships.

Every relationship has communication issues at times.

Generally, it comes about because we switch roles temporarily. I know in this modern world we are meant to do everything equally but some days we should just be thankful we aren’t the Taliban.

So, when my father-in-law got released into the supermarket with an essential Covid grocery list (during those interesting times), it was something David Attenborough should have been commentating.

I can imagine his poorly fitting face mask was not helped by his recently grown retirement beard and having to sign in may have nearly derailed the entire process.

But now as he hunted down items on the grocery list he must have grown in confidence.

Until he came to coconut milk.

As a man following a list, he diligently bought said item, not that it had ever been in his pantry, (to his knowledge).

Here started the blame game. Was it his fault? Was it the mother-in-law who was wrong?

As a good mediator, I knew that I shouldn’t take sides - so I decided that society was to blame.

The fact that two items on a list can be one is society’s fault, I reasoned.

Yes, coconut (the ingredient best found in Anzac biscuits) and milk (a staple of life) became “coconut milk” on a rushed shopping list.

So here is the question. Can a nut be milked? Can meat be grown in anything other than an animal? And should I care?

As a farmer I do care, as a consumer, I just need to be aware.

What do I need to be aware of? Some smart marketing guru has created the term “alternative protein”.

It doesn’t sound threatening, but if you need a science degree to read the ingredients list, I might ask - would the unprocessed original option, such as meat, be the better option for your source of dietary protein? Or should any liquids be named a solution rather than a milk?

Is the alternative choice about a better health outcome or a taste thing?

Is the producer of the product trying to save the world or profit from your desire too?

I’m far from an expert on food and have found myself regularly snacking on chips that are far removed from potato chips, eating a sausage-like cheese-filled creation that can’t legally be called a sausage, and drinking products that can do a bit of grease removal in the workshop if it didn’t taste so good.

What I’m saying is none of it is that new, we all have choices as consumers and I’m sure coconut milk is deliberately on shopping lists ready for curries all over the country but should it be milk?

Should soy, almond or oat also be described as solutions or juices?

Maybe the next time you visit a barista you could ask for nut juice in your decaf bean juice.

Even the government got in on the act of confusing society with the newest of our global trade agreements.

I did discover something interesting.

Feta, the name of a cheese, is soon to be banned from use in New Zealand if it was made here!

This is puzzling to me, words mean things, and some can change, but others are defined in FTA agreements.

I’m no fan of feta - it is the quickest way to destroy a mouthful of salad in my opinion.

But ponder this - if it is feta but can’t be called feta - why can something that is not actually milk be called milk?

Communication and language are difficult enough without adding another layer of whatever this is.

I know you’re all dying to know what happened to the can of coconut milk.

I never asked as it might reignite the whole argument.

I imagine it gets ignored - like the feta in my fridge.