It's easy to forget women's wellbeing in the rural mental health discussion - and it's often women who leave themselves out of the conversation, Southland farmer Loshni Manikam says.
"I think most of us are guilty of that," she told The Country's Rowena Duncum.
Manikam, who was 2018 Dairy Woman of the Year, said it wasn't until she took on her role as a rural women's mental health advocate that her eyes were opened to the problem.
"Until I really started working in this space, I myself was completely oblivious to the fact that perhaps our rural women need some championing and perhaps they are struggling."
Manikam believed there was a perception that rural men needed the most support, because they predominantly dealt with tough, physical work.
While she wasn't denying this, she was concerned that rural women's wellbeing was fading into the background.
"I think we can easily forget the fact that rural women are doing so much as well and that's mostly because a lot of the stuff that rural women do is behind the scenes."
For example, women were often the primary caregivers on-farm and raising children was a lot of work that could be taken for granted, Manikam said.
Southland dairy farmer Loshni Manikam was 2018 Dairy Woman of the Year. Photo / Supplied
Helping rural men deal with the stress of farming was also a responsibility that often fell to women, she said.
"We forget that at two o'clock in the morning when a farmer is tossing and turning in bed and worried about staff, or the stock, or the rain, or finances, the only person he turns to is the rural woman lying alongside him.
"There are so many reasons why we need our rural women to be in a good space - and we haven't even talked about the role they play in the farming business."
As a result, it was easy to miss the fact that rural women could also be struggling, Manikam said.
She wanted more women to ask for help but her work so far had taught her that they thought "they weren't doing much" and didn't deserve it.
"I think we ourselves don't understand our own value. We don't see the contributions we make so we don't feel like we should be complaining."
Fortunately, a lot of work had been done with rural mental health, especially in lifting the stigma of asking for help, Manikam said.
However, she had advice for those women who didn't feel comfortable reaching out to their GPs or calling a support line.
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"I encourage you to try to find someone trusted around you. Whether it's your partner, your sister, your dad, or your friend - I think talking about it is so important."
Taking that first step and opening up to someone was a bit like discussing drought or flooding, she said.
"Just getting together with others and talking about it - it doesn't change the adverse weather event - but it does make you feel a little bit better."
Manikam also had advice if talking with others wasn't an option yet.
"Give yourself permission to do something - a baby step - where you just sit down for half an hour, or five minutes, and have a cup of tea or have an afternoon nap.
"Whatever you can do for you, just give yourself permission and don't feel guilty - you matter and you're important."
