Furious George: A true New Zoolander

Photo / Getty

There was more than the usual excitement and elation for John Key Thursday on The Country last week. Pictures of his topless off-spring had emerged earlier in the week to widespread ridicule and consternation from the general populace, even the most ardent of Key acolytes.

Our own Jamie Mackay tut-tutted young Max's topless shenanigans, but couldn't help admire the washboard abs sported by Key the Younger. Mackay's obsession with the male form is legendary around these parts but even he thought the prancing nature of the pics was a bit too self-indulgent. How to remedy this unfortunate turn of events ahead of the weekly chat with the PM? The answer, as it often is, was provided by on-line editor Hanoi Jane. She came across a picture of little Maximus, an unlit ciggie dangling loosely, yet provocatively, from his lithe digits, with his old man's mug superimposed over the top of his own youthful crown. It was the perfect solution, and now a full-colour print-out of the photo proudly adorns the office of Mr J. Mackay. Problem solved.

But in amongst all the jibes and japes directed at John Junior was a collective quest to figure out exactly the point of these images. The continued questioning of Max's high profile Dad over his son's actions was somewhat tiresome, as this was the work of his 21-year-old son and not him, perhaps regrettably for his more adoring fans. In the end it was simply a fashion shoot for a magazine but, again, Hanoi hit the nail on the head. Max Key is New Zealand's Zoolander. A New Zoolander, if you will...

The 2001 American satirical comedy was the brainchild of Ben Stiller and his mates Owen Wilson and Will Ferrell. Stiller plays the witless narcissist Derek Zoolander; a male model whose sitting atop the fashion world due to his killer facial expression that he directs towards the fashion cameras which he calls 'Blue Steel'. The movie wasn't an instant success when it first hit cinemas but gained enough retrospective admiration in the ensuing years to spawn a sequel, released earlier this year.

The more you look at the Key images the more you realise he has unwittingly become the Kiwi real-life Derek Zoolander. The inherent irony in all of this centres around the explanation given by the subject for the pre-emptive posting of an image from the magazine photo shoot on Instagram, namely "know me before you judge me". The issue, of course, is by flashing the images across social media, he's actually asking us to judge him before we know him. What other motivation could there be for indulging in this if it's not narcissism? But each to their own - I couldn't care less about some photographs of someone I've never met, other than the fact they've been plastered all over the walls of Jamie Mackay's office.

Rest assured Prime Minister Key won't have anything to worry about when he walks among the faithful at the National Agricultural Fieldays at Mystery Creek today. Like his son, he will have cast aside any photographic inhibitions he may have had long ago, as selfies with the PM seem to have grown into a national obsession. Again, no harm done, but it's hardly doing anything to raise the collective IQ!

That's the domain of the exhibitors at Mystery Creek. People like Dr Mustafa Farouk and his team of AgResearch scientists who have produced 'meat chocolates' as part of a wider investigation into how we feed the world's growing population in the decades ahead. And let's not forget the fine folk from Good George Brewing who are pouring their crafty wares for thirsty patrons throughout the event. (NB - make you sure you try the IPA, one of the best beers in the country)

With all that going on, plus images of half-naked members of the Key family fresh in the mind, Key family members in the actual flesh as well, plus a bit of ale to spice up the mood, one can only guess at the excitement and elation for John Key Thursday this week on The Country...