Watch those flowery feelings

By PETER SINCLAIR

The language of flowers is the language of love. Tomorrow, nothing will say "I love you" more clearly and eloquently than a bunch of red, long-stemmed roses.

They always have. Roses are one of the oldest cultivated flowers - they bloomed in Asian gardens more than 5000 years ago, and fossils of wild roses date back 35 million years. This year, 1-800-Flowers alone expects to sell at least three million of them.

As always, the Greeks have a legend for it: the goddess Chloris came upon a beautiful dead nymph and turned her into a flower to which Aphrodite donated beauty, the Three Graces brilliance, joy and charm, while Dionysus added fragrance.

Zephyrus, the west wind, obligingly blew away the clouds so Apollo could bathe the flower in sun, and the rose was then given to Eros, god of love, who named it the "Queen of Flowers."

But be careful. Don't send just any old bunch of roses tomorrow - there are delicate nuances attached to each colour. Pink stands for grace and sweetness, and says "Please believe me;" yellow is a sort of all-purpose rose to symbolise friendship; scarlet or coral-shaded ones advertise raging passion; and white breathes true romance. But avoid white rosebuds - they mean you're too young for love.

On the whole, red and white together is safest - the perfect combination of spiritual love and physical desire.

Unless you know what you're doing, better steer clear of the easiest St Valentine's option of all, a mixed bouquet - it could convey the exact opposite of what you mean.

Red chrysanthemums, tulips or carnations still say "I love you," so you're pretty safe there. Violets promise faithfulness, while the gladiolus indicates strength of character, which probably says something about Dame Edna.

Gardenias will be ideal for shyer readers to send their Valentine - they express secret love. Lilies signify sweetness and virginity, while the daisy also whispers of innocence. The elegant calla lily celebrates your lover's beauty, and if you're lucky enough to get a bunch of striped tulips, it means you have beautiful eyes.

You can only send lilac once, by the way, since it goes to your first love.

But with many other flowers, you're on dangerous ground. The narcissus, for instance, is the flower of vanity and self-love - so much for that bunch of daffs.

Give her the message with a petunia, by all means, if you wish to express your anger and resentment; but avoid snapdragons - they mean you're desperate.

Tough but tender types can send their love a cactus: intimidating outside, squishy within. Striped carnations, on the other hand, represent a quick exit - they say "Get lost!"

Just hope you don't receive a bunch of cornflowers - the sender wishes to remain celibate.

And sometimes it's best not to say it with flowers at all, as in the case of the azalea - it stands for "ephemeral passion" and you don't necessarily want her to know you're only after one thing ...

Links:

History of Valentine's Day

1-800-Flowers

Greek legend of love

The language of flowers

Dame Edna on tour