Hello and welcome to my final Herald column. Please sit down or if you're already sitting down, please stand up ... because you've got to get up to get down, yo! Years ago, at the age of 10, if someone had told me that one day I'd be writing a weekly column for the country's biggest newspaper I would've laughed in their face. Me? Ha! I laugh in your face! I've never thought of myself as a writer. I still don't, despite all the writing I've done.
To be honest, I struggle with words. I often forget them, you know, the official ones. Instead, I make words up. I use home-made words that sound similar to the real thing. Usually they're some sort of confused hybrid of two existing words.
Anyway, my point is it doesn't really matter. As long as people get the gist of what you're saying (or writing) they'll ingratiate you. Hmm, I think I used that term wrongly there ... oh well, I digest.
I hope you've enjoyed my writings. If you ask me I'm better at drawing. Perhaps some national publication will ask me to do a weekly sketch using my coloured pencils. I'd even be willing to pull out my Stephen's Painting Sticks. Remember them? I wonder what happened to old Stephen? Maybe the world finally realised that his painting sticks were just felt tip pens after all ... "Hey Stephen, we're on to you. These sticks of yours aren't really magical!"