Procrastination and distraction the dark side of working from home

By SHELLEY HOWELLS

Working from home can be a beautiful thing. The commute is a doddle, you never have to deal with the likes of "That Jerk from Accounts", and it is always morning tea time.

The dark side: procrastination, distraction and going bonkers.

For example, instead of getting on with writing this, distraction intervened, in the form of eyebrow tidying and bathroom scrubbing.

Another 15 minutes bites the dust. You rarely get the urge to pluck or scrub anything in a real office.

There goes another five minutes, hanging out the washing.

Where were we?

EastEnders starts in five minutes.

The lure of domestics, television and the proximity of the fridge are bad enough, but the internet is the major problem. It's all too easy to get sidetracked. There's always a new personality test, fresh news bulletin, or bizarre site to devour the hours.

As a general rule of thumb, the closer you are to deadline, the more hours are swallowed by online meandering.

Chief online time-muncher is MSN messenger which is nearly always on in the background, waiting for another procrastinator to sign in.

It's the virtual equivalent of a colleague swinging by your desk for a chat, but with cute sound-effects and those handy little "emoticons" which go such a long way towards clarifying conversation.

There would be far fewer misunderstandings if, when being ironic during a staff meeting, a cheeky smiley-face would appear on the forehead. It's just a matter of time.

In fact, the net-savvy work-from-homer can easily create a virtual office environment.

When desperate for office babble, there is virtual eavesdropping on Overheard, an archived collection of odd listened in to conversations.

The official site of the genius that is the BBC's The Office offers an interactive map of the programme's set - a reminder of why you decided to work from home in the first place.

Gossip is hard to come by in the home office. So tune in to the Bizarre Rumour Generator, type in a victim's name and in an instant a vile rumour is created instantly.

Don't let a lack of colleagues stop you from whinging either. Complain to your heart's content with the automatic complaint-letter generator.

Simply write in the details of the individual or organisation you are moved to complain about, and screeds of satisfyingly pompous whining pours fourth.

In the home office, only the cat witnesses your mistakes. So in the interests of peace of mind, confess at God's WWW Absolution Service.

Admit wrongdoing and absolution is yours in a click.

Of course not all time spent online is frivolously wasted by those home alone. There's practical time wasting too.

A top pick has to be Homebizbuzz which is all things home business from marketing to ideas to networking, with a decent amount of local content.

Its chat section is full of practical help from others in the same boat, and the "lifestyle" section has advice on things such as overcoming isolation, learning discipline and (a personal favourite of mine) self-motivation.

Should all this uplifting encouragement get too perky, the antidote is Despair the home of Demotivators, "Increasing success by lowering expectations".

For home workers attempting to juggle at-home jobs with at-home kids, there are sites (mostly US-based) such as Work at Home Moms, and Home Based Working Moms which tackle thorny issues like how to sound professional on the phone when baby has his head stuck in the dishwasher.

Working from home is a beautiful thing, but be wary of online offers of easy money. Any search for "work at home" produces hundreds of dodgy-looking and unlikely schemes. Check out the Ministry of Consumer Affairs' advice on the subject. Consumer Online also has a list of scams.

If, after all that, you still have time to kill before Oprah starts, there's always paperclip art.

* Email Shelley Howells

MSN Messenger

emoticon

Overheard

Bizarre Rumour Generator

Automatic complaint-letter generator

God's WWW Absolution Service

Homebizbuzz

Despair

Work At Home Moms

Home Based Working Moms

Scamwatch

Consumer Online

Paperclipart