Shelley Howells: Click and discover a cure for holiday horrors

School holidays are upon us, and our own little biological weapons are home for a couple of weeks.

Parents in fulltime work do the holiday shuffle - fancy footwork involving bits of annual leave, shipping the kids off to friends and rellies, enrolling them in holiday programmes and hiding them under the desk at work.

Some of us are "lucky" enough to be able to stay at home, which is all very well for the first couple of days.

But the novelty of "quality time" together soon wears thin. You've seen Kangaroo Jack, made fudge, done the mall, done the day trip.

It's day three, the budget is blown and the whining starts. First it's the parent, who probably starts moaning during the opening credits of Kangaroo Jack. Then the kids start the "I'm boooored" and the "There's nothing to DO" routines.

Hooray for the net.

With a bit of planning, cunning use of the net can ease the holiday horrors.

First, a warning, from bitter experience.

Four hours online is a Very Bad Idea. It creates a condition known hereabouts as Netbrain.

Symptoms include sudden bursts of frustrated aggression, twitchy legs, an odd hunch and cravings for salty snacks. It doesn't do the 7-year-old much good either.

What you need are sites that occupy junior for an hour or so and then - here's the key - inspire other activities for another hour or more.

Better yet, if you have the energy and can stomach the cuteness of it, make a Theme Day.

Example. We're all going to see the Jungle Book 2, right? Get your money's worth by making a day of it, starting in the morning with a session on Disney's movie site which includes karaoke, games and many time-killing activities that'll get you through coffee and the paper in peace.

Then shock the kids by telling them that the Jungle Book was a book before it was a cartoon.

Point them to the Kipling Society's home page, which, although a little on the dry side, will buy enough time to put through a load of washing.

Then, while you settle into a good book, they can head to Wired for Books to hear some of Kipling's glorious, must-be-read-aloud Just So stories, albeit in an American accent.

Send them to Jungle Walk or Animal Planet and their many links to wildlife video, audio and information. (See a sprinting armadillo; hear Steve Irwin yell "Danger, danger, danger".)

After the movie, get the kids to make a Jungle-theme lunch, then rip into the jungle colouring pages you thoughtfully printed off earlier from Kidscolorpages.com.

Lastly, toss them outside (clutching a two-litre plastic bottle, scissors, plastic wrap, gravel, charcoal, potting mix and small tropical plants) to create a rainforest in a bottle.

A space day could start with a trip to the always great Nasa children's site (now complete with streaming-literally - video footage on how to use a toilet in space) followed by a real, or virtual, trip to the Auckland Observatory.

Finish with a home-made rocket launcher using a styrofoam plate, a toilet paper tube, a film canister, vinegar and baking soda (take care, this one can take an eye out).

A jaunt to any of Auckland's volcanoes can begin online with a look at live volcano cams of many nations, and finish with your own backyard eruption, which is unbelievably messy.

Of course, there are times when you just want to see the back of them.

Theme days integrating the internet really come into their own here.

One successful strategy is Relive Mum's Childhood Day, which begins with lamingtons and asparagus rolls, moves swiftly through a few Partridge Family and Bay City Rollers classics on vinyl, and culminates with an online magic roundabout trivia quiz and vintage Basil Brush audio.

Just as I'm reaching for a dog-eared copy of Worzel Gummidge and waxing lyrical about Morecombe and Wise, the boy suddenly remembers that he has lots of interesting things to do. Boom-boom.

* Email Shelley Howells

Disney's The Jungle Book 2

The Kipling Society

Wired For Books: Rudyard Kipling

Jungle Walk

Animal Planet

Rainforest Activities

Kidscolourpages.com

Rainforest in a Bottle

Nasa Kid's Site

Auckland StarDome Observatory

Make a Backyard Rocket Launcher

Auckland's Volcanos

Live Volcano Cams

Make a mock volcano

Lamingtons recipe

The Magic Roundabout quick quiz

The Basil Brush Show