Peter Sinclair: Relearning the art of letter-writing

By PETER SINCLAIR

An MSN survey reveals that 10 per cent of women have dumped boy-friends by e-mail, and 44 per cent think an e-mailed thank-you is as acceptable as a paper one.

Furthermore, two thirds of 18- to 24-year-olds don't worry about punctuation, grammar or style when writing e-mail — and 16 per cent sign every e-mail with love and kisses, even when addressing the boss.

I can hear it from here — a fretful stirring among the Luddites. "What did we tell you?" they snarl into their porridge, no doubt delighted to find their darkest fears confirmed.

The evidence is coming in: the use of the net and the spread of e-mail are depleting our epistolary skills. We write lousy letters.

Let us fight fire with fire, then, and look to the net to help us pull our socks up and write once more with the elegance, passion, grace, lucidity and ease of our forebears.

You'd think the business letter would have kept its end up, but no.

"I have been prompted to prepare this guide out of total frustration after seeing a continuing decline in the art of writing a business letter," writes Lynn Elfner, CEO of the Ohio Science Academy. "Maybe we can resurrect the lost art ..."

I had no idea that "Dear Sir, Regarding yours of the 25th ult ..." was capable of arousing such passion. If it was a love-letter, you could understand.

But the love-letter, too, has undergone an e-change. You can hit Send and instantly, anonymously, a missive will flash to your Secret Crush. Note: "Letters that are too 'romantic' will not be posted." I take this to mean that the more biological approach is out.

The sonnet appears to be out these days as well. "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see/So long lives this, and this gives life to thee" (Shakespeare, Sonnet 18) mightn't get you to first base these days.

But the tone of high romantic seriousness has not yet entirely vanished. "How to Write a Love-letter" lists things you'll need before you start: for instance, a fountain pen, perfume, acid-free paper and a wax seal.

"Decide whether you prefer torn-out notebook paper [or] perfumed sheets covered with flowers ... begin with Dear, Dearest, Beloved or My Precious, whichever endearment seems appropriate ... flatter your lover, mention his or her adorable traits ... put sincerity ahead of creativity, the purpose of the letter is not to stun your partner with a brilliant metaphor (so much for Sonnet 18, Will) ... affix a proper valediction: "Sincerely," "Love" or "Feverishly Awaiting Your Letter".

They add some valuable tips: handwrite the letter in dark ink (laser-printing isn't sufficiently romantic); consider more creative means of expressing your devotion such as scrawling confessions on a mirror. I wouldn't have thought of that.

* petersinclair@email.co


Links:

MSN

Ohio Science Academy

Shakespeare sonnets

How to Write a Love-letter