By PETER SINCLAIR
It's the season of burnt noses and burnt sausages ... it's barbie time!
Yes, once again we children of the pioneers are expected to eat and actually enjoy food which, if served to you in a restaurant, you'd throw on the floor and storm out.
So grab a tinny in one hand, a fork in the other and chuck another prawn on the barbie, mate ...
For while the barbecue was once a uniquely American phenomenon, it has found a new spiritual home in Australia, where it's only one small step from billy-tea to carbonised kangaroo meat.
These days the barbie is presented as a slice of Australian culture, not so much a meal as a rite:
"It's a national institution, it's Australian through and through, so come on, mate, and grab your plate, let's have a barbecue ..."
"There's flies stuck to the margarine, the bread has gone rock-hard
"The kids are fighting and the mossies biting, who forgot the Aeroguard?
"There's bull ants in the Esky and the beer is running out
"And what you saw in Mum's coleslaw you just don't think about ..."
(From My Songbook)
It's a true test of the ties which bind a family, not to mention the tastebuds — Aussie Barbecue Meatloaf, for example has a sauce involving instant coffee. Maybe you could use "Saucearoo" from Aussom instead — the site (boasting a championship BBQ team which tours America showing the Yanks how to do it) also yields a range of ethnic delicacies like Bonza Burgers, which contain something called "Barbie Dust" ...
And if you dig deep enough you'll even find a page of barbie etiquette, mincing niceties which sound strangely at odds with the Aussie ethos: "Whether to eat across the cob or round it is a matter of personal choice ..." Is there an alternative view?
Upwardly mobile readers may want to consult this page before taking a VIP Silver Service Barbecue Tour of the Outback where your 'roo burger comes in puff pastry, if only to learn how to cope with forbidding fruits like the pomegranate.
What, then, can we learn from our Aussie cousins about the art of barbecue? To approach it in a suitable spirit of gravity, I suppose, for there is something in its ritual discomforts which demands to be taken seriously.
A barbecue should be more than just another charred chop. Before you next tend the flame, visit these sites:
Cuisine: 28 Academy Award-winning recipes like Ray McVinnie's Otak Otak, Julie Biuso's Gaucho Grill, Lauraine Jacobs' Cuban Pork Steak with Roast Banana. Yum!
Clay's Salsa Recipes: this outstanding archive includes — as Great Whites cruise the Gulf and even my hairdresser caught a mako the other day — Grilled Jerk Shark with Pineapple Salsa. "Reduce your shark to bite-size pieces," it says — before he does it to you, presumably.
Mo Hotta Mo Betta: "The World Headquarters of Hot!" their incendiary range of sauces is sorted into degrees of suffering; all products are rated in Scoville Heat Units [habanero, for example is 60 times hotter than jalapeno]. Here you'll find Raging Inferno [reputed to be the world's hottest sauce].
Recommended Reading: Smoke & Spice ($US16.95 at Amazon.com); Boy Meets Grill ($US26).
Bon appetit ... or, in some cases, good luck!
Links:
Aussie Shrimp on the Barbie
Kangaroo meat
My Songbook
Aussie Barbecue Meatloaf
Aussom
VIP Silver Service Barbecue Tour of the Outback
Cuisine
Clay' Salsa Recipes
Mo Hotta Mo Betta
E-mail: petersinclair@email.com
<i>Peter Sinclair:</i> Fire up that barbie
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