Hotwired: Big Boys Toys is back

By PAUL BRISLEN

They mock us, they point and laugh. Sometimes they shake their heads and tut as they walk sadly away.

That's right, Big Boys Toys is back for another year with what has to be the coolest kit we're likely to see for a while.

There are the usual suspects - the robots, the cars, the robots in cars - but there are also the brave, the weird and the completely downright undeniably insane items that make heads turn, eyes go wide and generally confuse all the women I know.

Why is that, do you think? They have their handbags, their cellphone accessories, their make up. I have my insatiable desire for the Ferrari 360, flat screen TVs big enough to hang on the wall, cellphones small enough to swallow without a glass of water and a blokart.

Bionic Dolphin

This has to be the most impressive thing I have ever seen. Cooler than a Lamborgini, more jaw dropping than SpaceShipOne, with more of a "I gotta get me one of those" factor than an iPod.

Kiwi developer Rob Innes and his development team have built a recreational sub that looks, and acts, like a dolphin.

Take a jetski with a 110 horsepower engine, add the canopy from a F-16 figher plane and some fins for balance and control and you've got a Bionic Dolphin. The pilot reclines, rather like you would in a glider, and the craft flies along on the surface or dives below to literally fly underwater. Best of all, you can pop up and launch into the air, just like a real dolphin.

It's only a prototype at the moment and the company has plans for a two-seater to be built next year but this is definitely something to save up for.

Price: priceless.

Maserati Quattroporte

Of course, you can't get very far up Queen Street in your Dolphin, so you'll need to switch to an alternative mode of transportation. Fortunately, the BBT show has more than its fair share of two- and four-wheeled devices that you're not allowed to drool on. I don't know why - it's a rule or something.

The Maserati has recently been voted as the most beautiful car in the world and with its 400 BHP V8 engine, it's pretty quick as well. While it's not considered politic to talk about such things it hits 100 km/h in around 5 seconds and tops out at 275 km/h.

It's also practical - it has four doors, so you can fit the baby seat in the back snug and safe. That's thinking, that is.

And comfortable. If anyone wants to give me a ride in one, they need only ask. The driver's seat has three memory settings and the steering wheel gets out of your way so you can slide in and out of those genuine leather suits (one cow per seat) without any fuss. Bliss.

Price: if you have to ask...

Black Flys sunglasses

Take a deep breath now as we come back to earth for a moment. Black Flys sunglasses look like they've escaped from a B-grade SF movie (something from the 1950s with giant ants in it) and are seriously cool.

Take the Damion Fly glasses. Built with self defence in mind, I would think. Put on a pair and you look like you should be a tatooed, skateboarding, nose-ringed punk even if you wore a business suit and a comb over. Excellent. Buy a pair for Dad.

Price: $191 but at the show they're $95