Let me confess right now. I'm a hopeless mobile phone user. I break all the rules - I hardly ever carry the thing on my person and almost always have it turned off.
My Ericsson DH318 - a small brick with an ungainly protruding rubber aerial - should be in a museum. It doesn't do txt.
But I kind of like its retro appeal and it suits me fine for phoning home when I'm late, when the car breaks down and for calling taxis.
I'm on the cheapest monthly plan money can buy and struggle to use up my free minutes.
In marketing speak, I fall between the groups known as "stuck in a rut" and the "cost-conscious resisters".
My fundamental problem with mobiles is that I don't buy their fundamental premise. I simply don't want people to be able to get in touch with me any place any time. I like my rare moments of peace and quiet.
So it was with some dismay and a tinge of trepidation that I greeted the new mobiles both Telecom and Vodafone thrust into my hands.
They're both lovely flip-tops - a feature I've always hankered after in a mobile because it means you don't accidentally speed-dial home when the keypad bumps against something when you're at the pub. It also looks much better talking into something that bends.
But the Kyocera 7135 and the Sharp GX10 also have the "convergence" factor. Computer vendors have been promising this great melting pot for years - a time when computers, TVs and phones morph into something ill-defined but fabulous.
With the 7135 and the GX10 a bit of the fabulousness has arrived - sending email or cruising the net on your mobile. Plus sending pictures and audio clips anywhere, anytime.
True, that's been available for a while, but on these sorts of phones it actually works.
That's partly because the phone technology is better - especially the screens - but also because Telecom and Vodafone have built more powerful networks designed to handle both voice and data. They've also put quite a bit of effort into portals where it's easy to access a host of services.
So what's the catch? The cost will scare some. Fabulousness doesn't come cheap. The phones will set you back about $1500 for the Kyocera and $1000 for the Sharp.
Then there are running costs. On top of what you pay for voice calls, you'll be hit with data charges, too.
On Telecom's 027 network, every time you read pages beyond its main menus it costs 7c. If the page has an image, it costs an extra 7c and if it's a game you get charged 7c per frame of the animation. Other services cost between 20c and 35c.
With Vodafone live! data pricing ranges from 0.2c to 1c/KB depending on your monthly plan. Pxt messages are 50c each and subscriptions to specific services such as traffic cams, maps and weather will be around $1 a week. In other words, both entice you with all sorts of offerings and charge you little amounts each time. The problem is lots of little amounts can soon add up.
Still, the convenience of it all will appeal to some. I haven't yet tried the various services enough to know just how useful and enjoyable they are.
Given my mobile phone habits, I expect it will be a hard sell - but I'll report back after two weeks of total mobile internet immersion.
Meanwhile, I'm still trying to decide a much more important issue: which phone is the right fashion - and status - statement for me?
The sleek and shiny Sharp with built-in camera is the ultimate in cutting-edge style. But the Kyocera, although heavier and chunkier, combines a phone with all the features of a Palm handheld computer - a truly convergent device.
On the other hand, the extra bulk means it carries best on a belt holster - and I'm not sure I'm ready for geek chic.
* Email Chris Barton
<i>Chris Barton:</i> Serious temptations for a reluctant user
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