Chris Barton: Eat, drink and be merry, courtesy of the net

COMMENT

Ah, Christmas. Togs, Jandals, beach - weather permitting. And a break from peering into a computer screen all day. Over the next few weeks or so I probably won't be on the net much.

Although if I have to cook the Christmas turkey, I'll be going Brazilian. But where to get manioc meal?

Summer is also a good time for punch - especially of the rum kind. This is the traditional recipe and rhyme often quoted by generations in our family. But for a bit more kick and flavour you can't go past Madame Julia's.

I'll also persist with my BBQ-planked salmon experiments. It's difficult to get the cedar planks here (they sell them shrink-wrapped in supermarkets in North America). But if you can track some down, the result is divine.

But you do need a barbecue with a hood, which I don't have. My first attempt - using an old wok lid - created so much smoke I set off all my house smoke alarms and several others in the street. My second attempt with an upturned preserving pan was more successful - only my smoke alarms went off.

So with the eat, drink and be merry sorted, what else will the net be useful for? Of course I'll be checking my email for news from loved ones abroad. There'll also be cruising in Amazon to choose some holiday reading.

Then there's the shopping. Probably too late now for much buying over the net, but good for research.

Christmas also wouldn't be the same if I wasn't slogging through Auckland's humidity with crowds of increasingly irate last-minute shoppers. Where am I looking? The Xtra and NZCity portals are a good place to start.

For consumer electronics it's hard to beat Dick Smith Electronics. But check out Acquire. It says it's selling digital cameras at cost.

Christmas is also a time to be vigilant. Joke programs, screensavers and electronic greeting cards circulate in bulk. Many are not what they seem, so make sure your antivirus program is up to date. To avoid a repeat of the Blaster worm havoc of this year, Windows PC users should also download the latest security patches from Microsoft.

And if you haven't already, get yourself a firewall (eg, Zone Alarm.

Don't get complacent about spyware, either. Last week a family member phoned in a panic to say something was opening the CD drive and giving all sorts of menacing pop-up messages. What had she done? Clicked on something on a website that looked innocent enough. Why? Because she was curious. Aargh!

Thank heaven for Spybot Search and Destroy, which cleaned up the mess. But you need to regularly download updates here too - and run "Immunize".

The worst of these spyware nasties are the automatic diallers which will dial out on your modem to an overseas 0900 number and clock up an unwanted Christmas present on your phone bill. As most of these diallers come through someone in the household visiting dodgy porn sites, telcos are getting tough on customers who plead ignorance.

So if this happens, you may well end up footing the bill. Oh joy.

Speaking of Christmas spirit, Customs Minister Rick Barker is the Grinch: "When ordering Christmas gifts or buying for yourself over the internet, New Zealanders need to be careful that purchases don't contravene New Zealand law. People should ask themselves why the item they wish to buy isn't on sale in New Zealand."

We ask ourselves that quite often, Rick, and thank God for the internet. The rules, what's prohibited and the customs charges for importers are here. Interestingly for private importers, it says: "Individuals may import trademark and pirated copyright goods for their own personal use."

So those $25 knock-off Prada handbags and $2 DVDs from Shanghai are OK. There is a Santa.

* Email Chris Barton

* Web walk takes a break from today, but will be back on January 23.