Ever wear clothes in the shower, Bill?

Microsoft's exceedingly expensive investment into comedian Jerry Seinfeld's services for Mac fightin' ads has resulted in ... what, exactly? A rather confusing ad set in a fictitious shoe shop that discusses how to make shoes fit. Say what?

On the show Seinfeld, Jerry always had a Mac displayed prominently in his New York apartment. It always changed to the latest model. Whether this was because Jerry was a Mac fan or because Apple's product placement strategy had struck again, I don't know.

Anyway, the resultant new Microsoft ad is set in a shoe store. Jerry sees Bill Gates trying on shoes and ventures in to engage the business maestro in banter. I understand it so far. But the banter makes no sense to me whatsoever. Bill is trying shoes on, Jerry advises him to wear them in the shower to make them fit. Arf arf. It turns out Bill is a size 10 ... "Guess what Bill? You're a ten." Is that significant, with Apple's Operating System being called 'X' (OS 10)? Who knows? I certainly don't.

The shop is called Shoe Circus and has the slogan 'Quality Shoes at Discount Prices'. Bill Gates shops at Shoe Circus? I would imagine he has cattle fast-bred and slaughtered just to yield the correct leather for his preferred shoe - and then gets teams of Italian shoemakers flown in to cure, tan, shape and fit them personally to every Bill wrinkle and bunion. But what do I know?

Bill tells the shop assistant that the left one's a little tight. In my experience it's the right one that's always pinching a bit. Jerry says the shoes will stretch, and then we get the discourse about wearing clothes in the shower. Ha ha ... no, actually, not funny. Jerry ends up doing the fit. Bill walks around ... a Latino family looks enviously through the window and talks about the Conquistador. Oh, this is the brand of the shoe. So?

Bill is a Circus Shoes' Club Platinum member - he holds up an ID card with a very young Bill Gates pictured. Ah, he's been a Circus Club discount shoe club member for a very long time ... With that card he gets 'Big Top Points.' I get it.

No, actually, I don't.

Then Jerry tells Bill how big his brain is and asks for something for computers that's moist and chewy like cake, which can be eaten while you're working, and adjusts your shorts - and Bill confirms this is coming. Jerry is pleased. End.

I'm just confused. Your analysis welcome.

For me - thank goodness Apple just makes

ads for the rest of us.

I understand those.