Eric Watson: 'Have we forgotten life is for living and posting about it can wait?'

Youths are in danger of forgetting how to talk to people without using their phones. Photo / Thinkstock

Opinion

I'm watching with interest the ways our lives are changing as a result of social media. I'm a user so I understand the benefits, but as a parent and an employer I can't help but be concerned. Have you ever sat at an airport or a cafe and watched people on their phones and tablets? It won't be long before we start to look like our Neanderthal forebears with our necks poking forward and our shoulders increasingly rounded.

You probably think I sound like your father, but a new study by New York spine surgeon Kenneth Hansraj suggests that looking down at your mobile is the equivalent of placing a 60-pound weight - or an average-sized 8-year-old - on your neck.

They say the average American spends two hours and 42 minutes a day on their mobile. With that kind of weight-equivalent hanging off the neck, will there be serious implications for bodies in the future?

But I'm more interested in the psychological impact of social media. New Zealand has already seen the worrisome effects of Tinder with the death of Warriena Wright while holidaying on the Gold Coast. There have also been suicides attributed to social media bullying. Although these are the extremes, I was disturbed to hear of the experiences of a younger friend of mine whom I rate highly in intelligence and EQ, with Happn, an app that competes with Tinder.

Happn uses location data to show where you have passed a person who also uses Happn, at what time you passed them and how many times you have passed them. If silly enough, the person can choose to tell you where they work.

After that, it doesn't take long with a selection of photos and constant updates on their physical proximity (down to 250m) before you have a perfect recipe for any lunatic to become a stalker.

My friend recounted how freely females share their phone numbers and send him revealing pictures before even meeting him and with no encouragement at all, often within the first hour.

I might be old-fashioned, but how awkward would it be to walk past someone in the street and realise you recognise them not because you have met them but because you have seen several naked photos. I'm sorry, but this just isn't right.

A study of 500 people by two German universities showed one in three feel loneliness and misery as a result of using Facebook. The study said, "Facebook produces a basis for social comparison and envy on an unprecedented scale". Given most people post only the great things in their lives, such as getting dressed up and going out and enjoying a holiday, are we creating a false impression of our lives? Are all the posed and digitally-enhanced selfies another symptom of users' desire to be seen as someone else?

I wonder if for younger people social media has become a competition about how many friends you have and how many people "like" your latest photo?

Tim Urban wrote a great piece in the Huffington Post about what he calls Gen Y Protagonists & Special Yuppies, or Gypsys. He says a Gypsy is a unique brand of yuppie, one who thinks they are the main character of a very special story.

My concern is for those Gypsys who were born in the later years of the Gen Y band. They love social media, are on it all the time and have been repeatedly told by doting parents "they're special" and can achieve anything.

I can't help thinking this is a disaster in the making. I am all for a degree of self-confidence and encouragement, but what is the impact on society when success doesn't come to these Gypsys?

Paul Harvey, a University of New Hampshire professor and Gypsy expert, has researched this area and found that Gen Y has "unrealistic expectations and a strong resistance towards accepting negative feedback", and "an inflated view of oneself".

He says "a great source of frustration for people with a strong sense of entitlement is unmet expectations. They often feel entitled to a level of respect and rewards that aren't in line with their ability and effort levels, so they might not get the level of respect and rewards they are expecting".

Are we heading towards a situation in which a significant part of the developed world feels miserable and has such low self-esteem that they feel the need to share naked photos of themselves?

Have we forgotten life is for living and posting about it can wait? Is social media becoming the face for what you would "like" people to think your life is like - not what it is?

Have we forgotten how to talk to people? Texting and direct messaging is commonplace with often just an annoying emoticon to tell me how that person is feeling.

Can we stop it? Do we need to? Or am I just someone from an out of touch generation?