Peter Griffin: Insidious advertising probes our insecurities

The cursor flashes at me expectantly. Over 14,000 people have divulged their greatest wishes, resolutions and ambitions at the latest social networking hub, www.43things.com The question is - why can't I?

Maybe I'm not very ambitious, or maybe I don't buy into the idea that posting a "to do" list to a website for like-minded people to read is going to get me or them any closer to achieving our goals in life.

The whole online social networking craze perplexes me. The only thing propping it up is an insidious form of advertising that probes our insecurities and dreams to tailor what online ads will be fired at us. Some of these websites have millions of active members who must be getting something in return.

At 43things.com, which has a relatively modest membership but has been going only three months, members get to see what other people want and how they plan to get there. It's almost like therapy.

The aspirations listed range from trivial to life-changing: "de-clutter", "keep my car clean" on the lighter side, through to "live instead of exist" and "beat my depression".

I typed in: "Sell a screenplay" and hit return. On the right side of the page a list of adverts instantly appeared.

"Screenplay secrets course: New course guarantees script in 1 month, working 1 hour/day [US]$49.95."

To think I gave up full-time work and am spending thousands of dollars to do a masters degree on the subject. I need only have visited www.writequickly.com.

43things.com also tells me there are nine other people who confess to want to sell screenplays.

Sometimes it's actually depressing knowing a lot of people want the same thing as you. There you were thinking that climbing Mt Kilimanjaro would be a deeply unique and individual experience, bound to change your life. Well, only 50 other people share the same idea.

At 43things.com I feel like I'm telling the genie my three wishes - well, 43 wishes, actually. I run out of steam at No 4: "be a millionaire by 30". The ads instantly appear: "Date hundreds of thousands of sexy, rich singles and friends".

Who said anything about dating my way into money?

Trizey from Seattle has some noble aims on her list: drink less alcohol, eat more fruit, live in a house and get a dog and call him "Woofers". And at No 17 on her list - go to New Zealand.

She's one of 140 people on the website who have stated their desire to head our way. They all have different reasons for wanting to make the pilgrimage.

"Where else can you visit Middle Earth and perve on hot Maori men at the same time?" asks Cayce.

I've always been sceptical of people who spend all their time talking about what they want to achieve rather than getting out there and trying to make it happen. It's the worst form of procrastination. What do you really get from 43 things?

Apart from being served up a range of goods and services advertisements you probably have no interest in anyway, 43things.com is pretty much a pseudo-dating website.

Why else would people post pictures of themselves and talk about their personal lives?

43things.com is the brainchild of the Robot Co-op, a start-up web development company owned by online book-seller Amazon.com. Amazon came in for criticism earlier this month for not publicly revealing from the outset that it was propping up 43things.com. A lot of web users started putting two and two together and figured Amazon was using 43things.com as a sophisticated form of market research. Well, it is.

The company has mastered such methods through its main site where your book or DVD searches are used to build lists of similar items you may be interested in buying. I love that feature of the site as it has allowed me to discover dozens of new musicians and authors.

At 43things.com it is less helpful - serving only to dish up adverts that, although tailored to your entries, still fail to provide links you'd click on with a straight face.

Whatever the attraction is, people are taking to these types of communities en masse and the more people involved in them the more effective they are. A critical mass of cross-referenced people is created.

There's the established www.friendster.com and Google's www.orkut.com, which is by invitation only. Then there's www.linkedin.com and www.flickr.com, where people can share photos in an online community.

On a local level the closest thing that comes to this type of social networking model is www.oldfriends.co.nz, a site run by the people behind online auction site www.trademe.co.nz. Oldfriends is a clever site. It's amazing how a name displayed on a computer screen can bring back a flood of memories.

Whatever is on your wish list and those of others, one thing becomes plain on these websites. Everyone wants the same thing: to be fulfilled, creatively, emotionally, romantically. It's the eternal search for happiness. If people can help themselves achieve that through online social networking, well, good for them.

* petergnz@gmail.com