KEY POINTS:
According to a survey recently published by the Australian Psychological Society, there's a lot to be annoyed about. Making matters worse, most Aussies not only think that the number of annoyances has increased, but that most of them have some something to do with technology (and nothing to do with that accent?).
Feeling the Aussies' anxiety I bravely took a look at their top 20 to see just how much a small measure of common sense and a healthy dollop of technology can help.
1. Telemarketing calls
You're having dinner, the phone rings and some idiot tries to sell you double glazing or some other garbage that you'd rather not chat about while dinner gets cold. Annoyingly, Tele-survey companies seem to have a knack for catching you at dinner time.
The Solution: Short of making your line an 0900 number, the options open to the average tele-sales victim are woefully limited. While the easiest solution is to take the phone off the hook, Making sure your phone number doesn't get onto a telesurveyer's contact list is a much better way of avoiding cold dinners.
If you really must supply a phone number to any companies or online services, give out a mobile number. Chances are that the extra cost of calling it will ensure that all but the most persistent telemarketers will let you dine in peace. Use of caller ID (if your telco provides it) to screen incoming calls.
2. Inconsiderate/bad drivers
You're running late, traffic is hell. Making matters worse, some idiot decides to take a mid-week, 8am, 30km/h Sunday drive or an urban assault vehicle driver decides to cut in front of you, making you even later.
The Solution: Leaning on your horn and flipping the bird might be the simplest solution, but I've got tricks that are far more satisfying. Obnoxious four wheel drive owners feel they can behave badly simply because their vehicle is bigger than yours. Drop into Tanks for Sale where an ex Russian Army T72 tank is yours for a mere 50,000 euros (plus shipping costs). It may only be capable of a maximum speed of 80 kph, but at 41,500kg, no owner with half a brain is going to piss you off - ever.
If a tank seems extreme, try getting a really loud horn. They don't get much louder than the current record holder, the Kahlenberg S6. Its seven-foot form factor may make it tricky to mount under the hood, but it can be heard for a whopping 12 miles.
Unfortunately the Kahlenberg is a one-off, but Hella's dual trumpet airhorns dual trumpet airhorns are easily obtainable. Able to crank out 72 watts of sound at an ear splitting 118 decibels, these babies will have that 4 wheel drive owning idiot's ear drums imploding, ensuring they rue the moment they ever cut you off.
3. Unfriendly staff
Be it buying a meal, checking into a hotel, or any other number of retail experiences, a routine transaction can quickly be transformed from pleasurable consumption into something more hellish by rude and uncaring sales staff.
The Solution: In the age of the interweb, giving bad service has become a fatal move for retailers. Subscriber written review sites such as Trip Advisor have experienced massive growth - it has over 15 million reviews, and gets 25 million monthly visitors. Similar sites are available for nearly any type retail service you'd care to name, so exacting revenge on unfriendly sales staff is criminally easy.
4. Excessive advertising
After heading to a seemingly reputable website, you find that your web browser slows to a crawl as it waits on a dodgy server in Kazakhstan to load advert after advert. Several months later, the web page finally loads, complete with more advertising bling than you ever thought you ever needed to see.
The Solution: Both Firefox and Internet Explorer are enabled by default to block pop up adverts, but Adblocker plus, a third party plug-in for Firefox takes things to a whole new level. Not only can it block sluggish advertising servers, but you can also choose which pop-ups and banners to block. An automatic online filter subscription option can also block common advertisements automatically.
The cyber advertising deluge may be sorted, but real-world options remain painfully limited. Not for long though, thanks to augmented reality.
Using a head mounted display, GPS and wireless data, graphics can be seamlessly superimposed over the real-world. In the near future augmented reality could tune out advertising clutter, however designing a VR headset that doesn't make you look like a fool is another matter altogether.
5. Sensationalising the news
After a hard day slaving over a hot office, getting hit by item after item of alarmist nonsense or "cat up a tree" stories in the evening news is extremely annoying and the last thing that most of us want to put up with.
The Solution: Using RSS(Really Simple Syndication) not only means that you get to catch up with news that tickles your particular fancies, but you can access your news whenever you want. Sites such as iGoogle or My Yahoo can all be set up deliver custom news feeds.
If catching the news on the tube is a must, consider a hard disk recorder such as MySky, or Freeview's MyFreeview HD. They're easy to drive and will let you record and watch a multitude of news channels at your own convenience. If a feline stuck in vegetation story doesn't suit, simply hit fast forward..
6. Violence
You've been hanging out to get your hands on the latest R18 rated first person games console shooter for ages. Unfortunately a bunch of tree hugging hippies hijack the media and protest at its impending launch, getting the game banned before you ever get to try it out.
The Solution: New Zealand has a sensible video game rating system which is used to rate R18 games for a good reason - they're not suitable for impressionable kids. Educating friends and family about how video games are classified in New Zealand will go a long way towards bringing some sanity back into the emotive video game argument. More information on game rating classifications can be found at the NZ censor's office.
7. Cigarette smoke
Smokey pubs and restaurants may be a thing of the past, but for those living in close proximity to smokers, putting up with the smell of stale smoke is pretty disgusting (unless of course you're a smoker).
The solution: Rather than nagging flatmates, friends or family to give up, try the USB smokeless ashtray which sucks cigarette smoke out from your living environment and into a carbon filter.
Alternatively play a subliminal quit smoking CD once that important smoker in your life has gone to sleep. Failing that, try a gas mask from Civilian Gas Mask and scare the bejesus out them until they quit.
8. Inconsiderate mobile phone usage
After a hard day's work you're feeling frazzled and can't wait to zone out on the train ride home. At least you would if that idiot sitting next to you didn't spend the entire journey shouting into their cell phone.
The Solution: As tempting as it may be to simply smash the offender's phone, better solutions are available in the form of portable cellphone jammers. Small enough to fit in your pocket (where they can be discretely switched on), a portable jammer can create a phone free zone of quiet up to 10 metres in size.
9. Automated phone services
You simply want to speak to a real human being in technical support. Unfortunately this involves spending time in phone menu purgatory, frantically stabbing at phone buttons in order to talk to a fellow human being.
The Solution: Make use of the wasted time by working on other tasks. Read the paper, or write a stern email to the offending company. Alternatively pressing O, OO, O, or O* can get you transferred to an operator. If all else fails, send in that complaint you worked up whilst listening to hold music. Vote with your wallet and move away from any suppliers who operate particularly onerous automated phone services.
10. Spam
You fire up your email to check for messages. Several hours later you're still hunched over your PC, clearing hundreds of offers to enlarge (or reduce) your naughty bits. Sheesh.
The Solution: Three rules can limit the volume of spam landing in your inbox. 1) Use your personal email address only to email people you know. If you must register for online services etc. use a free email account such as Gmail. 2) Nowadays, even the most basic email applications come with a spam filter which can put suspect emails into a junk folder, leaving your inbox uncluttered. 3) Never reply to junk mail. Doing so tells spammers your email address is live, with it being on-sold so you get even more spam.
11. Biased reporting
Having already ranted at length about the quality (or lack thereof) of the various evening news bulletins and cat up a tree news stories, its fair to say that it's a good thing there's other channels available when the news is on.
The solution: Elvis might have had the right idea when he shot at the tube on his telly, but leaving a loaded handgun sitting beside the TV remote isn't a particularly good idea, especially when there are kids in the house.
Luckily we can suggest the next best thing which is a gun-shaped TV remote. If John Campbell or Mark Sainsbury is getting up your nose, simply point it at the TV and say "go ahead, make my day" then pull the trigger to change the channel. Useless, but cathartic.
12. Heavy traffic conditions
Being stuck in rush hour traffic (why do they call it that?) for hours on end is about as much fun as a DIY root canal. Knowing that you're not only running late, but that you're also burning a pile of costly petrol and will be stuck listening to awful drive time radio for another several hours is enough to push anyone over the edge.
The Solution: In the not too distant future that shiny GPS sat Nav unit stuck to your car windshield will be able to tap into traffic information in order to help you avoid traffic congestion by finding a quicker route to your destination. Until then a good alternative could be to subscribe to the time saver traffic service which will allow near real time info on traffic conditions to be emailed or sent to your phone.
13. Hoon driving behaviour
Now that I'm too old to be a boy racer, I can comfortably say that they're a scourge on modern society and need to be stopped. Not only do these hoons look silly with lowered pants, suspension and seats, they have to be barking mad to be overjoyed at the prospect of sitting through dross like The Fast and the Furious (but brain dead).
The Solution: Boy racers tend to fall into two categories - those that have borrowed mum's car (tragic) and those who are continuously broke because they've spent their next five years of salary on a WRX. Parents can deal with the former by dropping into Snitch where they can get a GPS tracking unit to monitor their child's driving in real-time.
Ford USA has also chipped in with a modified smart key that can be used by parents to limit the maximum speed at which junior can do donuts in the family car.
14. Cigarette butts
Cigarettes are a pain in the butt, especially when some inconsiderate smokers turn gutters and pavements into ash trays. Accurate ciggy butt stats are hard to come by, but when you average the litter resulting from each of the 1.2 billion smokers on earth per day, the results are a staggering 4.3 trillion butts.
Worse still, cigarette filters are made up of 12,000 cellulose acetate fibres that can take up to 15 years to biodegrade.
The Solution: Although scientists have developed a biodegradable butt made of food grade starch (just like the starch found in spuds and rice), which decomposes within two months, there's no sign of these hitting our shores any time soon. Butt's out have developed a more practical, if not cheeky short term solution they call the personal ash-tray. Made for melt-resistant ABS plastics they're small enough to slip into a pocket or purse, allowing smokers to take their butts home with them. The best solution however is of course prevention. Check out Annoyance #7.
15. Lack of parking
Spending several hours hunting for a car park is right up there with root canal surgery and DIY lobotomies. Annoyances aside, it also adds a huge amount of wasted time to seemingly simple chores such as shopping.
The Solution: Let your mouse do the walking, shop online. Thanks to sites such as Woolworths', heading into town and spending ages waiting in line for a car park can be minimised. Alternatively, head over to Xrides and check out their awesome selection of motorised skateboards. They're cheap to run, and can be picked and carried under your arm, allowing you to avoid parking pain.
16. Road rage
With all these annoyances, congested roads and idiot four-wheel-drive owners, it's no wonder that tempers are fraying. Add cars into the mix and the resulting road rage is potentially deadly
The Solution: While you could drop into Trunk Monkey and check out tasolution to road rage, Live Leak has an even more impressive means of dealing with drivers filled with road rage as they approach your car. Failing that, see annoyance #2 and get a tank.
17. Wastage
Global warming, pollution, ozone depletion - where will it all end? In this age of conspicuous consumerism, the throw and forget mentality seems to have taken hold, and damn the consequences.
The Solution: Knowledge is power so bone up on green tech. One of the better online resources for getting your head around stuff such as solar cells, biodegradable plastics and the latest hybrid cars can be found at Green Techolog.
For a more hands-on discussion on all things green, try Wellington-based eco blog Celsias.com which was voted one of the top five environmental internet blogs in the world by the Times.
18. Bad language
Listening to potty-mouthed work colleagues isn't just stressful, it's annoying. Although foul language affects some people more than others, ripe workplace comments of a sexual or racial nature can lead to legal action.
The Solution: Developing workplace guidelines about appropriate language may help, but blocking out your resident office potty mouth with a pair of noise-cancelling headphones is way better. When it comes to noise cancelling cans, Kiwi company Phitek has taken the world by storm. Their headphones are ideal for blocking out foul language and can be bought online at Black Box Online.
19. Unnecessary forms
Administrivia is an unfortunate side-effect of this bureaucratic age where the act of merely breathing requires that you fill in ACC forms in triplicate and IRD forms in duplicate.
The Solution: Whilst we can't do much to reduce paperwork, there's a bevy of Firefox add-ons to simplify the mouse clicking hell of online forms. Designed to make form filling a one or two click affair, autofill forms is guaranteed to take the pain out of online admin. Lazarus Form Recovery takes care of one of the more frustrating online form features by allowing you to save forms and re-submit them when the submission process fails, saving you a heap of re-typing.
20. Having to wait in line
Being stuck in long lines isn't anyone's idea of a great time. Be it the airport, burger bar or even petrol station, long delays queuing is becoming increasingly commonplace and it's no surprise that's its been linked to annoyance and even violence (queue rage anyone?).
The Solution: Some of the worst places in the world for this can be found at American funparks. During peak holiday times, waiting for popular shows and rides can involve standing in line for several hours in hot and crowded conditions. Several rides at the Epcot Centre have got around this by using cameras and large screens that allow visitors to play interactive games. Queue victims waiting for a comedy show at Disney World have been asked to text jokes that could potentially be used during the show.
For a lower-tech waiting line solution, try casual gaming. Designed with simple rules and an emphasis on immediate playability, casual games such as Bejewelled (my favourite) can be downloaded and played on most cellphones, making hours literally melt into minutes.
