NEIL PORTEN finds crossword heaven, complete with anagram unscramblers and coffee mugs.
You are feeling very clever with yourself because you have thought of a six-letter word for "a figure of speech" that starts with "z" and ends with "a".
Unfortunately it is the last clue in the Herald crossword and you have still got half a cup of (hot) coffee and 10 minutes left of your tea break.
The cryptic took all lunchtime but it is finished, too. What's a cruciverbalist (crossword enthusiast) to do?
Put down your pen, click on your web browser and spend some time filling in online.
Crosswords work particularly well as a computer-based pastime because the interactivity required is minimal - simply putting letters in the empty squares.
Good software makes it relatively easy to construct crosswords and put them online. And if you have a Java-enabled browser you do not even need to print the puzzles to do them.
As a result, the number of websites where junkies can spend a few minutes solving quick puzzles, or take hours over a tortuous cryptic, is enormous.
Enthusiastic amateurs and professional setters of puzzles (also called compilers) have sites dedicated to this pastime so closely associated with newspapers since the first Word-Cross appeared in 1913 (see accompanying story on the history of crosswords).
Where to start? Newspaper sites, of course - and the Herald Online is as good a place as any for a daily dose of quick and cryptic puzzles.
Each day's online puzzles are different from those that appear in the print version of the paper - perfect if you have already done the hard-copy grids. The help instructions explain how to do the puzzle online, but you will need a Java-enabled browser - generally speaking, these are Netscape Navigator v. 3.02 or higher, or Internet Explorer v. 4.0 or higher.
Or you can print the puzzles and do them the traditional way.
Most online puzzles have extra features that enhance the solving experience. You can save a partly completed puzzle and return to it later.
You can check an answer and the puzzle will tell you which letters you have got wrong.
You can cheat and reveal answers to individual clues, or the whole grid.
The Guardian has a useful introduction to solving cryptic puzzles, and a sample completed cryptic with clues, answers and explanations.
There is also an A-Z of abbreviations, a nifty built-in anagram unscrambler, and discussion and message boards on various crossword topics (e.g. make up your own cryptic clues and test them on other solvers).
The Times of London is famous for its puzzles, but you will have to register (free) to do them.
Across the Atlantic, the New York Times' crossword is equally renowned. A "classic" puzzle is offered free but you must pay a subscription to do the current ones.
Puzzles in the United States differ from the British style familiar in New Zealand. The grid has fewer black squares and the words are more interconnected.
Perhaps you want to combine your love of crosswords with another hobby. Puzzles on a theme are numerous and varied.
Replace those divots with dictionaries for a monthly golf crossword. (Links below)
Test your music knowledge with the puzzles at Billboard.com.
For those with a scientific mind, experiment with scientific crosswords, or creative chemistry crosswords.
To combine The Word with the words, monthly Bible crosswords are at www.gospelcom.net/gf/xword/.
Most hobbyists require the right tools to fashion the maximum enjoyment from their recreation. For cruciverbalists the basic tools are dictionaries and thesauruses.
At refdesk.com there is a vast list of reference resources (and crossword links), including language, art and science dictionaries.
The One Look Dictionary is fast and comprehensive.
Try Thesaurus.com for your synonym needs.
Anagrams are a common weapon of the cryptic puzzle compiler - you can unscramble clues using Brendan's Online Anagram Generator.
If solving puzzles is no longer so thrilling and you think you could make a go of creating crosswords yourself, the web has plenty to offer.
Compilers have their own site at Cruciverb.com. It describes itself as "the Crossword Constructors' Community Centre".
Included is advice on how to get started making up puzzles, specification sheets for American publications that accept contributors, a mailing list and links to software and books on solving and constructing.
Online Crosswords provides applets for publishing crosswords (and other word puzzles) on webpages, as well as examples of puzzles by amateur and professional compilers.
Reviews of crossword software can be read at about.com.
One of the most highly praised programs for creating puzzles is Crossword Compiler. This site also has a good list of general crossword links.
For other sites with good link lists, have a look at Yahoo or thinks.com.
Ray Hamel, a Wisconsin librarian, crossword compiler and trivia quiz book author, has a homepage that includes links to foreign language puzzle sites, articles about crosswords, software and solving tools.
Solving and compiling still not enough? Want to surround yourself with little black and white squares?
No problem. You can buy mugs, T-shirts, solving aids, ties.
Decorate the lounge with the world's largest crossword - 28,000 clues; 91,000 squares on the grid; 2.1m by 2.1m square.
Shop at It's Cubular! and Puzzlebuffs.
And after all that, if you are still stuck for a six-letter word for "figure of speech", try zeugma.
Links
Brendan's On-Line Anagram Generator
Cruciverb.com
Online Crosswords
about.com crossword reviews
Crossword compiler
Yahoo crossword links
thinks.com crossword links
Crossword puzzles by Ray Hamel
It's Cubular!
Puzzlebuffs
A square meal for puzzle fans
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