Psssst, have you heard the Black Caps' latest idea for their one-dayers with the Windies?
Not the one about the invitation-only Christmas Eve party in the interval between their two games at Hagley Park, held at an isolated farmhouse on the Canterbury Plains where umpires, cameras and blabber-mouth guests will be banned from festivities.
If they really get into it, Chris Gayle might be missing longer than he was after a brief visit to the crease in Whangarei.
That disappearance prompted New Zealand to come up with another idea for the doubleheader in Christchurch and they've already notified the ICC and bookies around the globe about their intentions: get Ben Stokes to fill in for the Windies. After all, he's only restricted from playing on the Ashes tour.
Marginally more seriously, though, over at the Kiwi camp, they were nutting out a side without captain Kane Williamson and Tim Southee who were excused from the Hagley hit-outs and all-rounder Colin de Grandhomme who is on bereavement leave.