When the dark times hit: Rugby's battle with mental health

Brad Shields prepares for an England test against the All Blacks in 2018. ©INPHO/Billy Stickland / www.photosport.nz

Everyone looks from the outside in believing professional athletes have it made. And to a large extent they usually do. Trappings of money, fame, success do not, however, grant immunity to those at the peak of their powers from the pressures and anxieties attached to relentless sporting pursuits.

As Covid-19 wreaks havoc on daily lives, it seems more appropriate than ever to discuss the importance of mental health.

These interviews were conducted prior to the height of the global crisis but as everyone battles new norms and anxieties, the messages that follow only increase in relevance.

Brad Shields left New Zealand rugby in 2018 to chase his international dream. After his unusual mid-season debut for England while still at the Hurricanes, Shields went onto play eight tests, only to miss last year's World Cup selection due to plantar fasciitis issues in his left foot.

Shields previously managed the problem but it became progressively worse and at a pre-World Cup camp in Treviso, Italy, he could no longer run.

Six weeks he spent on the sideline before returning for Wasps in a bid to prove his fitness to England coach Eddie Jones. This time, though, his running style overcompensated, and he tore the other side of his foot.

Eight months Shields fought his foot problems – 14 weeks he sat out after the second complication.

For someone who enjoyed a largely injury-free ride throughout his eight seasons in New Zealand, Shields found processing his World Cup disappointment and this year's on-going resentment at being unable to contribute difficult to take.

Brad Shields laughs during an England session last year. Photo / Getty

"The injury affected me in a way which started to make me quite frustrated and I didn't know how to deal with it," Shields said.

"I started to get frustrated and become short at home but my wife told me to press pause and I got a sports psychologist on board to help me put things into perspective. That was the key, to put everything out there and find the way forward."

This experience opened his eyes to the importance of expressing the down times. So after six years of facial growth, Shields recently linked with Looseheadz, a leisurewear brand aimed at tackling the stigma of mental health, and shed his beloved beard to raise £2000 and, more importantly, awareness.

"I thought what better way to have a change and start a new chapter than get rid of the beard and team up with a great cause.

"I've just scratched the surface with my mental health but there's the full spectrum out there. No matter where you're at, it's important to talk about it.

"Everyone has different challenges and it doesn't matter what scale it does affect you. I just cracked on. I thought the best thing for me was to keep training and keep working hard and get back on the field as quickly as possible.

"Stopping to assess where I was at helped put a plan in place. Sometimes it's hard to find a focus when you're frustrated and not helping the team."

Shields returned to the field for six games before the pandemic halted all sport and he is contracted to Wasps until the end of next season.

Whenever European rugby resumes, the 28-year-old remains determined to break back into the England squad.

"I just need to get out and play consistently for Wasps and if I can't do that then there's no chance. I've still got aspirations to play international rugby and that would be amazing if I could get another opportunity. I'm still a little bit off match fitness and where I want to be but I'll crack on and do what I can."

Shields is far from alone in rugby's push to confront mental health challenges. Liam Squire opted out of the World Cup last year while fellow All Blacks Ardie Savea, Anton Lienert-Brown, TJ Perenara and Sonny Bill Williams have been influential in this space for some time.

John Hardie, the former Southland, Highlanders and Scotland flanker, is another Kiwi now aligned to Looseheadz with the aim of sharing his experiences to help others.

Hardie spent five years with the Highlanders before moving straight from the 2015 Super Rugby title-winning team to Scotland's national training squad, qualifying through his Valleyfield-born grandmother.

That same year he earned selection in Scotland's World Cup squad duded by South African referee Craig Joubert in their quarterfinal defeat to the Wallabies.

John Hardie is stretchered from the field with a leg injury in a 2016 test against Australia. Photo / AP

Hardie played the next two years for Edinburgh but then experienced a swift freefall. From the grand World Cup and Six Nations stages, to dossing at Jamie Mackintosh's house in France.

While he felt incredibly privileged to be living in Edinburgh and playing international rugby, Hardie struggled with the adjustment of leaving New Zealand.

Dealing with the day-to-day pressures of being selected, performing on game day, negotiating contracts, coping with injuries and having family and close friends on the other side of the world all took their toll on his mental health and well-being.

Ultimately this situation led to a three-month drug ban. When back surgery then ended the prospect of joining French club Clermont, Hardie feared for his future.

"It was a bit of journey not having a contract and then you don't know whether you're ever going to play rugby again at this level or what you're going to do so it was a pretty uncertain time," Hardie said.

"I had been contracted since I was 19 and then I had nothing. It was a bit of an eye opener and made me realise what a privileged position I'm in."

Four months Hardie stayed at Mackintosh's house in the south of France; waiting, hoping another opportunity would arise as he worked his way back to full fitness.

It was a dark time, the most challenging of his career, but it also taught him plenty about his character.

"In that period I worried a lot about what was going to happen and if I was ever going to get picked up. When you have that worry and anxiety, you expend a lot of your energy on things you can't control.

"You go through the highs of winning big matches and then there's the lows of injuries and contract time. There's all these things going through your head and a lot of players take it differently.

"There's such big fluctuations that it's important being comfortable in that space, being happy where you are and with yourself.

"Life is not always easy and everyone is going to suffer some tough times and setbacks. These things can be turned into positives. Looking back at me with being too worried, it's made me realise how important having something else outside is and not being so focused on rugby all the time.

"If you get in that bubble where all you worried about is rugby, rugby, rugby your mood gets very fluctuated by it. Having a balance is so important in terms of being able to switch off and step away.

"It took me a while to realise that things outside rugby are so much more important."

John Hardie goes on a run during a game for Newcastle Falcons in 2018. Photo / Getty

Relief eventually arrived in the form of a short-term contract offer from the Newcastle Falcons, justifying Hardie's decision to stay in Europe and fight for his career.

After joining Newcastle last year, the 31-year-old is now settled, content and contracted through to the end of next season.

"I'm thankful Newcastle took the chance on me as someone who hadn't played for four months. They were really good with my recovery and how often they played me. I can't thank them enough for the faith they showed in me.

"It can happen to anyone. It doesn't matter how successful you are, how rich you are, how old you are, you're always going to be affected by mental health. Having supportive family and friends and someone to talk to is such a big thing for everyone to realise.

"Just talking about a bad day can help so much. If this helps one or two people then the charity and I have done our job."

The messages expressed by Shields and Hardie apply to a rugby context but so, too, are they equally applicable to the struggles many now face in everyday life.

No matter what the situation, talking and listening goes a long way.

• Covid19.govt.nz: The Government's official Covid-19 advisory website