Israel Adesanya: "There's no one like me." Photo / Michael Craig
Chris Rattue goes back through the year to compile the best sporting quotes of 2019.
The Burger King
"I think we're going to serve McDonald's, Wendy's, Burger King, with some pizza...I would think that's their favorite food."
US President Donald Trump, on his fine dining choice, when entertaining America's champion college football team at the White House.
Less of a racket
"I forgot to smile…I was told to smile. I was panicking."
Tennis ace Naomi Osaka, after winning the Aussie Open and becoming world No 1. It was her second consecutive Grand Slam and a far happier occasion than the first which was overshadowed by Serena Williams' outburst at Flushing Meadows.
Nuts all right
"I'm trying my nuts off, and when I try my nuts off, f... my knee starts hurting ...,".
Australian tennis star Nick Kyrgios, during his first round loss in the Australian Open, also told his trainer he felt like "absolute dog shit" and had "just given up basically".
Interesting concept
"There are still a couple of trophies up for grabs, not the least the mixed singles."
TV tennis presenter Tony Jones during the Aussie Open.
Technical issues
"This was clearly an honest mistake as a result of my camera roll being included in a screenshot."
Notts County football club owner Alan Hardy, after tweeting an x-rated photo of himself.
Copping it
"Police would like to issue a warning to members of the public about the exploits of a group touring the country at the moment. Witnesses report seeing this group badly assault an innocent looking bunch of New Zealanders."
A local police Facebook post, after India thrash NZ in two one-day matches.
Toad Hall
"...a bloody tadpole in a 40-gallon drum, it doesn't work".
Phoenix football chairman Rob Morrison reckons Westpac Stadium is too big for his team.
Super Over
"We've seen about as much offence in this Super Bowl as the New Zealand Black Caps have shown in their recent test cricket matches lately."
Our cricketers get a mention from an American commentator during the NFL's Super Bowl.
First class cricket
"Why are you smiling at me? Do you like boys?"
Windies cricketer Shannon Gabriel to England's Joe Root during a test match.
"Don't use it as an insult. There's nothing wrong with being gay."
Was Root's reply.
Grappling with life
"Back home in Aotearoa we've got the highest youth suicide rate and to all you kids, anyone that's listening right now, I know what you're going through. Just reach out to someone, talk. It's all good, we don't have to be strong. You can be strong by reaching out."
UFC fighter Shane Young of Napier after a UFC 234 bout in Melbourne.
Tight call
"I kind of think someone got in his ear."
American golfer Matt Kuchar on the outcry after he underpaid the Mexican caddie who helped him break a long winless streak. Kuchar later topped up his pay.
Test match
"I'm going to ask for a DNA test. They must have swapped him on the plane."
Toulon rugby owner Mourad Boudjellal on his All Black signing Julian Savea.
Casual remark
"The last thing I want to do is spend eight weeks in a blazer."
England's Eddie Jones, when asked if he would like to coach the British & Irish Lions.
Grand stand
"The AFL paid boffins millions of dollars to design the stadium and they built it the wrong way… it's one of the dumbest stadiums ever built."
Geelong Cats star Jimmy Bartel lets fly about the AFL's Marvel Stadium in Melbourne.
Twitter jitter
"You start to see kind of hands twitching and legs shaking, and you know they need to get that social media fix."
Arizona Cardinals NFL coach Kliff Kingsbury, revealing he will give his players cell phone breaks during team meetings.
Rare Gunner
"She is one of the trailblazers and all credit to all of those boys for accepting her for her football."
The mother of a girl in Arsenal 's mixed under-12 football academy.
No Price
"He said he wanted a rematch, but I don't want to share a ring with an animal like that again."
Brit boxer David Price after compatriot Kash Ali bit him a few times and wrestled Price to the canvas during their heavyweight contest.
Cross talk
"This is a god with the ball on the pitch...but he is not God."
Football fan Pope Francis on fellow Argentinian Lionel Messi, the Barcelona superstar.
Perfect
"To anyone, young Māori/Pasifika people especially, who may be struggling with their identity - please know that it is ok to be you. You are perfect as you are. Do not let these comments keep you from being yourself. Polynesia has been sexually diverse since forever."
Tweet from All Black halfback TJ Perenara, in opposition to Wallaby Israel Folau's anti-gay posts.
A hole, in one
"He'd kind of been a dick the whole day. He's a total asshole with no character."
A data analyst named Adam Levin, looking back on when, as a 15-year-old, he beat Donald Trump in golf. (from Rick Reilly's book on President's Trump's golf lies)
Volley
"I'm tired of f***ing losing. S**t sucks!".
American Sloane Stephens was tired of losing tennis matches, in case you hadn't noticed.
Long shot
"I've always felt that I belong on a big stage. When I was losing to guys in back rooms with no crowd, I always felt it would be different if I could get myself up there."
750-1 outsider James Cahill after beating five times winner Ronnie O'Sullivan at the world snooker championships.
Sin bin
"Warning drunks, homosexuals, adulterers, liars, fornicators, thieves, atheists, idolaters, Hell awaits you. Repent! Only Jesus saves"
Guess who? Yes, the one and only Wallaby star Israel Folau, giving his world view.
Queer I is straight guy
"Dinner with the boyfriend" with a hashtag of "together for five years".
Aussie cricketer James Faulkner apparently comes out as gay on Instagram. This was followed by:
"There seems to be a misunderstanding about my post...I am not gay, however it has been fantastic to see the support from and for the LBGT community."
Old Triffid
"I've often said that if clubs have got weeds in the garden, you've got to get rid of them. There are some Japanese knot weeds at that football club."
Manchester United legend Gary Neville on his struggling successors.
Command performance
"God spoke to me."
Wallaby Israel Folau, to a hearing investigating his infamous post which stated hell awaits homosexuals and others.
Poor taste
"You come out, and sometimes you gotta eat a poop sandwich. It doesn't taste good. You have to chew on it for a couple days."
Carolina Hurricanes ice hockey captain Justin Williams, after a big defeat to the Boston Bruins in a finals game.
Another spray
"I may have been too harsh with him, but I am someone excessive and whole. I never shower with lukewarm water."
Toulon rugby owner Mourad Boudjellal backtracks on Julian Savea.
Fast friend
"Reyes does not deserve a tribute like a hero. But that does not mean that I don't regret what happened and that I pray for their souls."
A safe driving message from Santiago Canizares, after his former Spanish team mate Jose Antonio Reyes died in a ridiculously high speed car crash which also killed a passenger.
Punch line
"Can you imagine, you're built like an Adonis, ripped, carved in stone, and a little fat guy who's ate every Snickers in California bladders you all over?"
Boxing star Tyson Fury's in-depth analysis of fellow Brit Anthony Joshua's shock world heavyweight boxing title defeat to Andy Ruiz.
Who's the boss?
"Pretty much when he asks you to do something you pretty much do it."
Australian golf star Jason Day, on Kiwi caddie Steve Williams.
(The sequel: "…it was a disconnect of old school and new school."
Day announced in August he has split with Williams, after six tournaments.)
Death wish
"This is far worse than retiring as a player. Leaving Roma is like dying. I feel like it'd be better if I died."
Former Italian football star Francesco Totti, after resigning as a Roma director.
Not a jersey jumper
"I was born and bred here...New Zealand has given me and my family so much and it's a no-brainer to stay here and represent this black jersey. I'd never turn my back on this jersey."
Giant league forward Nelson Asofa-Solomona, on whether he would consider playing for Samoa..
Shining example
"I just felt for him, and I told him, I'm sorry on behalf of the crowd."
India captain Virat Kohli encouraged fans to lay off Aussie rival Steve Smith, of ball tampering infamy, who was booed during their World Cup match.
Master of Paris
"I dropped a little bit my level, then Rafa, who won this tournament 12 times, he stepped on me."
Austrian Dominic Thiem after Rafael Nadal's 12th French Open final victory, a record for an individual Grand Slam.
Donald Ducked
"I'm not going to the f*****g White House."
Donald Trump naysayer Megan Rapinoe, the star of the US women's football team which went on to win the World Cup in France. (She later withdrew the expletive, while retaining the sentiment).
Top marks
"Marks is like a god in Brooklyn right now."
American basketball reporter Anthony Puccio on Kiwi Sean Marks, after the Brooklyn Nets Kiwi GM signed Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving.
Reversal
"Women assault males too. It (domestic violence) is not a gender thing, it's a New Zealand problem."
All Black coach Steve Hansen defends the selection of Sevu Reece (who admitted assaulting his partner in 2018 although he escaped a conviction). Hansen later backtracked.
Fan fair
"Equal pay".
A chant from the crowd in Lyon, aimed at FIFA, after the USA won the women's World Cup final over the Netherlands.
Bawl girl
"I don't really know how to feel, this is the first time I've cried after a match, after winning."
The 15-year-old American tennis sensation Cori 'Coco' Gauff, after toppling her hero Venus Williams at Wimbledon.
Shooting from the lip
"If someone had a machine gun and was prepared to shoot Putin, I would stand in front of him."
Former F1 supremo Bernie Ecclestone, who thinks the world needs more dictators.
Hollow victory
"You're a loser. I'm a winner."
China's Sun Yang to Brit Duncan Scott, as podium protests against the drug-tainted star escalated at the swimming world championships.
Long innings
"I said to Kane (Williamson) I'll be apologising for that for the rest of my life."
England's cricket World Cup hero Ben Stokes on the fortunate deflection off his bat which went over the boundary and turned the final against the Black Caps.
Modest take
"All good things take time...there are probably areas if I'm going to be honest that I know we can do better. But we'll take it."
Remarkably downbeat Silver Ferns coach Noeline Taurua, after engineering a stunning turnaround to win the netball world title.
High praise
"She's a freaking beast. Like, I don't even understand. I always ask her, 'Do you realise how good you are?'" It's amazing."
Gymnast MyKayla Skinner, on teammate Simone Biles, the legendary US gymnast who became the first woman to land a double-triple during the floor routine.
Golden year
"Our fossils stood up and led from the front."
Silver Ferns coach Noeline Taurua, praising her veterans after the netball World Cup final victory over Australia in Liverpool.
Revved up
"Look, some people grow up, some people don't. I think you'll pick which one has grown up."
Runaway Supercars champion Scott McLaughlin, during his enduring spat with rival David Reynolds.
Judge dread
"Doctors and lawyers will end the game in 20 years."
Australian league icon Phil Gould.
Dad ball line
"You defend the tryline as if it is your own family standing behind it."
Springbok fullback Willie le Roux, before the Rugby World Cup.
Un-Australian
"I think I'm in shock...to witness that was mind blowing...probably the best innings I've seen. It's hard to say that as an Australian."
Former Aussie fast bowler Mitchell Johnson, after Ben Stokes' stunning 135 took England to victory at Headingley after they had scored just 67 in the first innings.
Getting it in the neck
"Unfortunately, there are some horrible people out there. If you walked down the street, they'd never tell you to your face to 'go neck yourself'. There are grubs out there who feel the need to do it.''
Penrith league veteran James Maloney, about social media.
Row
"I wouldn't say it was a surprise result - that's my personal view."
Rowing great Mahe Drysdale, after his Kiwi single sculls rival Robbie Manson failed again, at the world champs.
Injury and insult
"We need to stop the superiority syndrome…some of the senior players think they are better than everyone else. I've seen people when they are injured sitting in the coaches' box, instead of down on the sidelines with their mates. What are they doing in there? I wouldn't dream of going in there."
New Warriors league club owner Mark Robinson.
Seeing red
"We (the drivers)are pushing bloody hard...you've got people making decisions that are just cruising, kicking back have a few glasses of red each night, rock up to the track...the brain's not with it."
Australian Supercars legend Jamie Whincup, after a safety car foul up at Pukekohe.
Baby talk
"Look, he was trying to encourage us to expand our family. I was just encouraging him to win the game."
PM Jacinda Ardern, on her training ground chat with All Black Sonny Bill Williams prior to the opening Rugby World Cup game in Japan.
Presidential pardon
"It's going to be like 15 Donald Trumps out there."
England coach Eddie Jones, before playing the USA. Asked to respond, U.S. coach Gary Gold - speaking for us all - said "I've absolutely no idea what he means by that."
Child's play
"He probably did better than he normally does because he was trying to finish and in panic mode."
The mother of nine-year-old Kade Lovell, who took a wrong turn in a 5km race and accidentally won the open 10km event in Minnesota.
Line of the year
"Coleen Rooney: WAGagtha Christie."
English comedian Dan Atkinson, after the wife of former England footballer Wayne Rooney turned super-sleuth in a scrap with another player's wife (Rebekah Vardy) over leaked information to the media.
Not cagey
"There's no one like me. No one…I don't chase money, the money chases me. It's about legacy, it's about moments, it's about becoming an icon."
New Kiwi UFC middleweight champion Israel Adesanya, after dismantling Robert Whittaker for the crown in Melbourne.
Strike out
"I will be buying an AR-15 tomorrow, because if you impeach MY PRESIDENT this way, YOU WILL HAVE ANOTHER CIVAL WAR!!!"
Major League Baseball umpire Rob Drake on Twitter.
Yup
"Nup to the Cup".
Snappy animal rights slogan emerges from the anti-Melbourne Cup brigade.
Team talk
"The greatest team there has ever been in sport."
England coach Eddie Jones on the All Blacks before their World Cup semifinal.
Fair call
"Sometimes sport's not fair, but tonight was. We just got beaten by a better side."
All Blacks coach Steve Hansen, after England's great World Cup semifinal victory.
Tragic Johnson
"I played shit and got dropped."
Kiwi league playmaker Shaun Johnson, after paying the price for defeat against the Kangaroos.
Winning speech
"So many problems in our country, but to have a team like this ... we know we come from different backgrounds, different races, and we came together with one goal and wanted to achieve it."
Part of Springbok captain Siya Kolisi's amazing World Cup final speech.
Head case
"Endangering the other team, it's inexcusable. He knows that. I hope he does now."
Cleveland Browns NFL quarterback Baker Mayfield on team mate Myles Garrett, after he pulled Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Mason Rudolph's helmet off and hit him on the head with it.
Cherry not on top
"You people... you love our way of life, you love our milk and honey, at least you can pay a couple bucks for a (Remembrance Day) poppy or something like that,"
The 85-year-old Canadian Ice hockey commentator Don Cherry on immigrants. He was fired.
Convincing
"That plan of having two All Black forwards standing up flat and then passing way behind them to the 10 who then played wide was put together for teams like Ireland rushing up...they were late arriving to all those breakdowns (against England). It gave us slow ball and didn't really give us a chance to keep the ball alive. It probably was the reason we lost so convincingly."
Coaching maestro Wayne Smith on why the All Blacks crashed in the World Cup semifinal.
Humourless
"An attempt at humour gone wrong."
An Australian cricket official, after Hobart's Emily Smith was given a long ban for posting her team lineup on Instagram. This breached anti-corruption rules.
Huh?
"They will be disappointed with the account we put out but we have got another week to get back on the horse and take that horse to the water and you can ask that horse, 'hey horsey, do you want to have a drink or do you want to swim?'"
England forward Joe Marler reflects on the World Cup final loss to South Africa.
Low performance manager
"During the season, sex must not last too long, we must do as little effort as possible. So stay under the partner. And preferably, with their wives, because if with others, well, that needs extra action."
Inter Milan football manager Antonio Conte provides energy saving advice for his players.
World first
"If you want us to go on a naming exercise, I'm afraid I will not engage in that."
Cricket South Africa spokesman Thamie Mthembu announces that the Proteas' selectors for the series against England will not be named.
Soft serve
"As with other great sports in this country and elsewhere, it is common practice to draw a distinction between recognising champions and celebrating heroes, and it is an important distinction."
A conflicted Tennis Australia after inviting the legendary Margaret Court to the 2020 Open in recognition of her four Grand Slam wins in 1970. Court has infuriated and offended many people with virulent attacks on same sex marriage.
Straight delivery
"F... it. Bowl fast".
Message spotted on Aussie quick bowler Mitchell's Starc's wrist band, in an Adelaide test against Pakistan.
Dead aim
"We love cricket, we do this for a living, we've seen a lot of test matches…these are very, very dry, prosaic days and I don't think they are at all good for the game…they'll kill test cricket."
Part of English cricket writer George Dobell lengthy attack on New Zealand pitches, during a ponderous test in Hamilton.
Disunited
"…because I haven't got 35 medals, I haven't played for Manchester United for 20 odd years and own a big house."
An angry Rhodri Giggs explains why he believes his mum sided with his brother Ryan, the legendary footballer who slept with Rhodri's wife. Rhodri and his mum have not spoken since the long affair was revealed in 2011.
Code duel
"What would have been good would have been to get a decision in this clash about the rights of employers to control employees' speech through codes and workplace policies."
Workplace professor Anthony Forsyth, after Rugby Australia and Israel Folau agreed a private settlement over his contract termination because of anti-gay posts.
Oh that's all right then
"Everyone in New Zealand loves you and I loved you, so when I played against you it was just emotion, passion took over, you were playing dirty on me and I kneed you. He's one of the best at (play dirty)."
Austrlian first-five Quade Cooper reveals what he said to Richie McCaw years after the 2011 World Cup backlash against the former Wallaby.
Pillow talk
"He's lying in bed with my sister, they got married yesterday."
South African cricket captain Faf du Plessis excuses an absent teammate before a domestic T20 match.
At their Mt Smart fortress, Auckland FC were mauled 4-0 by Western United