Not Crystal clear
Belgium footballer Christian Benteke tweeted about his 32 million pound move from Liverpool to Burnley. Wrong. He had actually signed for south London club Crystal Palace. No wonder Benteke had trouble finding the net at Liverpool. "Oops my bad lol," he conceded. 'Sorry for the little mistake the person that manages my Twitter got a little confused." Oh, it's not actually you talking to fans. That's all right then. (August)
Is that you Robert?
Another Robert Allenby incident. Another memory problem. The Aussie golfer couldn't remember being arrested for disorderly conduct and trespass outside an Illinois casino, but the cops could. There was a very similar incident involving a kidnap claim the previous year. (August)
Are you receiving?
Australian rugby boss Bill Pulver inferred the All Blacks were "paranoid" after they found a listening device planted in a chair at their Sydney hotel meeting room.
"I've never heard of any sports team sweeping rooms for listening devices so I was surprised by that revelation," he said. "I'm not going to describe the All Blacks as paranoid...I can tell you we don't sweep rooms."
Hey Bill, best not to mention paranoia when they found something very suspicious. (August)
At least they aren't carrying a spare tyre
A Colombian women's cycling team appeared to reveal far too much during a race in Italy, thanks to a flesh coloured feature across the midriff area of their uniform which seemed to show very private parts.
International Cycling Union president Brian Cookson called the uniforms 'unacceptable by any standard of decency'. Come on Brian, lighten up. (September)
It's a lock
Ailing 80-year-old All Blacks legend Colin Meads was an automatic winner when he rang ZM radio to claim tickets to a Justin Bieber concert...for his granddaughter. The prize went to the most famous caller ringing on behalf of a listener, and they don't come any more famous than Piney. "Good morning, I'm Colin Meads and I've got a granddaughter that wants to go see Justin Bieber," the great lock forward told the gobsmacked hosts. It was his first public comment since a cancer diagnosis. (October)
Cross
Diego Maradona, probably the greatest footballer ever, had a lengthy, finger-pointing argument with fellow Argentinian Juan Sebastian Veron during the Pope's Match for Peace in Rome. The 55-year-old Maradona stated "I don't need to talk with you" while doing the exact opposite when the players left the field at halftime, requiring security men to get involved. Peace be with you, Maradona.
Substitution
Little used Sunderland forward Victor Anichebe still couldn't find enough time to write his own tweets, cutting and pasting a message from his social media manager instead. After a loss to West Ham, his tweet stated: "Can you tweet something like: 'Unbelievable support yesterday and great effort by the lads! Hard result to take! But we go again!'"
Chews his words
New Kiwis league coach David Kidwell had a big Four Nations in England. A reporter called him "Steve" during a press conference then Kidwell described New Zealand's narrow win over the hosts as a "war of nutrition". (October)
Leader of the opposition
Even Prime Minister John Key felt moved to bag Aaron Smith, after the star All Black halfback was sent home from South Africa because of a tryst with a woman in a Christchurch Airport toilet.
"...frankly, he's embarrassed himself a bit," Key said, during a long statement on the matter. (October)
Swings and arrows
Golf's Ryder Cup in Minnesota turned nasty thanks to a tweet from the brother of England's Danny Willett. Pete Willett described American golf fans as "imbeciles, cretins and dim Yanks".
Pete, a drama teacher, wanted the European team to "silence the pudgy, basement-dwelling irritants, stuffed on cookie dough, pausing between mouthfuls of hotdog so they can scream 'Baba booey' until their jelly faces turn red".
The reigning Masters champion initially disowned his brother's views. But after copping abuse (surprise surprise) and playing poorly, he tweeted: "Unfortunately some American fans showed that @P_J_Willett was in fact correct." (October)
I now denounce you
Stories about a couple of Aussie pranksters hoaxing their way into the North Korean Golf Open were themselves unmasked as faulty. CNN reported that the event was a travel operator-linked low rent tournament which included a bride and groom in the field. (November)
On another planet
An Arsenal programme revealed French footballer Olivier Giroud's terrible fear of the lovable 1980s sitcom character Alf, a friendly alien. "My brothers used to say, 'Be careful, Alf is going to get you tonight!' They went too far with it!," Giroud said. (November)
Yellow
Argentinian Bruno Doglioli flattened young female referee Maria Benvenuti with a vicious blindside hit during a Serie A rugby match in Italy. Benvenuti recovered enough to give Doglioli a yellow card, and the 33-year-old was banned for three years.
"It's an incident for which there is no justification whatsoever," his Vicenza club stated. "It was a momentary loss of control by the player who, in decades of playing, has always behaved professionally and correctly." (December)
Getting her ducks in a row
Teenage opener Shania-Lee Stewart not only smashed 160 runs from 86 balls - she scored all her team's runs off the bat in a T20 cricket match in Pretoria. Nine Mpumalanga team mates scored ducks.
"I wanted to (give someone else a go) but everytime someone else was on strike we lost a wicket, so I had to play clever cricket to win the game for my team," she said. (December)
