The Crowd Goes Wild: The low blow

NZ Herald

16 Oct, 2014 04:00 PM7 mins to read

Wigan prop Ben Flower was sent off in the Super League Grand Final after this attack on St Helens' Lance Hohaia.

Mark Richardson and Andrew Mulligan from the Crowd Goes Wild look at the Flower-Hohaia thuggery and make their weekend picks.

Thuggery on the field of play

Mark: I can't say I've taken too well to this whole Ben Flower business. As far as I'm concerned he went past sporting misconduct and sailed right into public crime when he belted Lance Hohaia while he lay prone, stunned and defenceless in the Super League final.

It was nothing less than criminal assault.

Sure, he got a six-month playing ban but he really should have been slapped with six months straight, if you know what I mean. Quite frankly, the only sporting place this sort of thing belongs is MMA, which is just prison violence, in my opinion... so clearly I'm outraged, but how bad was this? How does it stack up against other acts of violence and unlawful connection that have escaped the civil justice system just because they happened in sport?

Andrew: What a perfect opportunity to play - "Sporting Thug Survivor!" (cue Survivor theme tune in your head ... not the number one single from Destiny's Child though).

Mark: So was Flower's double tap worse than the filthy Frenchman who rucked Bucks Shelford's testicle - rucked them right open, freed up the ball so to speak.

Andrew: Benefit of the doubt has to be given to the fact that the act, while filthy, is hard to prove intentional. Rucking was a wild and reckless pastime in those days therefore Flower goes through to the next round.

Mark: Yeah, I suppose you're right, I suppose the odd ball would get in the way. All right, was it worse than when Keven Mealamu and Tana Umaga's clearance of Lions' captain Brian O'Driscoll out of a ruck in the first test of 2005? Oh, hold on... Kevvie said it was never intentional so it's not an act of filth and it can't beat Flower's punches.

But was it worse than Sam Burgess' squirrel grip in 2013 on Melbourne Storm centre Will Chambers?

Andrew: Interesting comparison, but if you want to get someone's attention when on the ground so you don't catch a boot, like Burgess could have, then it's a simple, yet effective way of doing that. Flower advances.

Mark: Yeah, I suppose you're right because Chambers was still conscious and could repel Burgess' advancement with a firm 'No thanks, Sam', whereas Lance Hohaia was out cold from the first punch on the ground. All right then, instead of the squirrel grip, what if it was a penis-bite like Anthony Watts' effort last year when he was playing for the Tugun Seahawks in a game on the Gold Coast?

Andrew: Hmmm, that's just weird. Surely no one would do that. I still maintain Flower's punches were egregious whereas Watts' attempt was hard to prove beyond reasonable doubt. Again the Tribal Council of one has spoken so through to the next round goes Flower.

Mark: Watts said he didn't do it and the vision was inconclusive, but John Hopoate confessed and he said he did it to three people so should the tribal council vote Flower out and go with Hopoate?

Andrew: Again, weird, but the impromptu prostate check doesn't stack up against blatant violence and Hopoate only received 12 weeks for it, whereas Flower has been banned for six months. Again Flower survives but not something to be proud of.

Mark: You can't pooh-pooh something like that - he could have been charged with unlawful sexual connection in relation to the action.

Andrew: How about the NFL's Ndamukong Suh when he kicked a quarterback in the groin, or the time Albert Haynesworth stomped on a player's head who wasn't wearing a helmet and gave him a gash on his forehead that required 30 stitches? Now that's filth!

Mark: Well, for a start there's no one in sport I know by that name and the second name, Albert? Why wasn't the guy wearing a helmet to stop such things! Look can we please get back to sport I'm familiar with?

What about when Richard Loe eye-gouged Greg Cooper in the NPC all those years ago? How does that stack up against Flower?

Andrew: Oh, Richard Loe beats Flower hands down! You can't mess with someone's eyes like that and Loe was a great prop but also had a long record of transgressions so straight into our Pantheon of "Acts of Filth We Know Of".

Mark: Oh no, I can't accept that because it's an All Black and we can't have that as the dirtiest player in history.

Therefore, I say Jim Mills of the Welsh league team who in 1975 in a test win over the Kiwis was banned for the rest of the season after stomping on John Greengrass' head after he scored a crucial try in the 25-24 win.

Vicious!

Back Chat

Mark: What the hell is Jarryd Hayne playing at here? You can't just down tools and waltz on into an American sport. American sport is full of complicated American nuance and league is sport in its simplest form.

Andrew: Well, somebody gave him enough confidence in that part of the sports world to convince him that at 26 years of age he has the body type and skill set that could feature as a punt returner/tight end/running back. You, more than anyone, should appreciate changing it up to further a career.

Mark: Yep, at 33 I realised I had the confidence and the timbre and the sporting skill set to become this country's leading sports broadcaster... so yeah, he may just make it and he's got six more years than me up his sleeve.

Andrew: Was alluding more to the "bowler-with-the-yips-tries-opening-the-batting" lark you had a crack at. Back to Hayne - he's going to struggle because he's an athlete but he hasn't grown up with the game much like Willie Mason who tried it and Daniel Adongo.

Mark: Which goes right back to my initial point. I, however, will punt on him being a punt returner ... ha ha ... get it ..."punt" on him, punt returner ... ha ha ... seems to me that it will be more like rugby league when a fullback returns the kick ... but he's just called a "fullback" in league, not a "kick returner".

Andrew: I love a story like this as it invokes the romance of SBW making the cut for the All Blacks, becoming a heavyweight champion - much to people's annoyance, and then hopefully another Rugby World Cup winner's medal and a sevens gold too.

Mark: Oh thanks Andrew, did you really have to bring up Sonny Bill. More like "Money Bill". You do know he walked out on the Bulldogs ... honestly ... just downed tools and left.