KEY POINTS:
Good week ...
John Smit moaning about Richie McCaw
He came, he won sod all, he got injured and went home. But not before he'd had his ritual pop at his All Blacks opposite. Not at all daunted by the fact Richie McCaw isn't even playing at the moment, Spingboks captain John Smit included the peerless flanker in a wide-ranging spray at all things All Blacks.
As well as accusing our brave boys in black of cheating in the scrums and getting away with deliberate foul play (yawn), Smit alleged All Blacks coach Graham Henry had campaigned for years for a rule banning opposition players from tackling McCaw.
With McCaw absent, Smit suggested that Henry wanted the rule to now apply to Dan Carter. Having watched the English play two tests without laying a hand on Carter, Smit could have been forgiven for thinking the rule had already been ratified by the IRB.
Noeline Taurua
Having given birth to a whopping 9lb 1oz (4.1kg) baby girl on Wednesday night, Waikato Bay of Plenty Magic coach Noeline Taurua is planning to be back in the harness - so to speak - for her table-topping team's playoff match against the New South Wales Swifts on Sunday.
Taurua might have set the case for extended maternity leave back a decade or so but her attitude sure puts Martin Johnson's decision to stay at home with his pregnant wife instead of touring here with England in perspective.
American Olympic middle distance running squad
America looks in great shape to break the African stranglehold on Olympic middle distance running after naming a powerful team for Beijing. Well, kind of. Taking a leaf straight out of the "if you can't beat them grant them citizenship" book, the three-man US 1500m team consists of a Kenyan, a Mexican and a Sudanese. Reigning world champion Bernard Legat (born in Kenya), Leonel Manzano (Mexico) and Lopez Lomong (Sudan) finished one-two-three to earn their places on the US team.
Alan Webb, the American-born national mile record holder, finished a disappointing fifth, presumably after either eating too much apple pie beforehand or failing to get over the shock of thinking he'd turned up at the wrong event.
Sexual equality
A series of commercials featuring journeyman American tennis pro Justin Gimelstob promoting the US Open have been canned following his comments about female players on a radio show. Gimelstob described Nicole Vaidisova as "a well developed young lady", labelled French players Tatiana Golovin and Alize Cornet "sexpots" and called Anna Kournikova "a bitch".
He also claimed female players lacked social skills: "they don't go to high school, they don't go to parties". The USTA pulled the ads.
Gimelstob later said: "I'm apologetic and remorseful and wish I could take it back, but I can't."
Bad week ...
Tony Veitch
Still reeling from Clint Brown's Taupo shenanigans, the reputation of sportscasters took another hit with revelations Tony Veitch violently assaulted his former partner and then paid her hush money. Having employed him to read the headlines, it's doubtful Veitch's bosses will look kindly upon him making them.
With Brown having been forced to walk the TV3 plank for a transgression that involved getting beaten up while drunk and, perhaps more unforgivably, confusing the Tainui and Tuwharetoa tribes, it's hard to see how Veitch can survive. There is also the small matter of potential criminal charges. A real Veitch of a week, that.
Roger Federer
The Fed Express is finally finding out what life is like on the other side of the tracks. Okay, maybe he's not slumming it on the mean streets of Geneva, but after his loss to Rafael Nadal at Wimbledon he is at least getting a taste of what it feels like trying to look chuffed about receiving a silver serving platter while the other bloke hoists the trophy.
All of a sudden toppling Pete Sampras' record of 14 grand slams doesn't look like such a formality for the man widely, and perhaps prematurely, regarded as the greatest player ever.
Sergei Shmolik
The charge, if there is one, would be drunk in charge of a football match. A Belarus referee who was helped off the field with back pain after a match was later revealed to be intoxicated. Russian television showed Sergei Shmolik staggering as he was helped off the field at the end of Saturday's match.
The Belarusian sports website Presball reported that the crowd in Vitebsk stadium, where the local team was hosting Naftan, was amused with the referee's strange behaviour through the second half. Shmolik was hardly moving by the end of the match, which ended in a 1-1 draw, officiating entirely from the central circle.
Presball said Shmolik was later taken to hospital for a test that showed high levels of alcohol in his system.
