Fortunately for us, Stab also had photographer Ryan Miller present to document what it looks like when you give a beach bar full of pro surfers a pair of electric clippers.
No doubt the "skull drags", described by Stab's Elliot Struck as "a combination of spirits, funnelled down a tube into a mask/mouthpiece combo worn by the drinker", came before these shocking haircuts.
According to Stab, no one at the party escaped the old surf trip ritual of the "bad, friend-administered haircut."
"The rite of passage was reignited on Namotu last night, with a one-for-all, all-for-one mood: No one had a choice in climbing into Taj's barber shop chair for an awful (but wonderful) very short-back-and-sides," Struck wrote in the magazine.
A night to remember for all involved, the celebration came amid a drawn-out suspension of surfing in Fiji.
Surfers were forced to sit at the Fiji Pro on Wednesday after low swells induced a third consecutive lay day to be called.
And things don't look like getting better any time soon at Cloudbreak, with World Surf League organisers warning the one-metre swell doesn't show any signs of improving before Monday.
"Unfortunately today is another one of those really small days," commissioner Kieren Perrow said.
"We will be off again today and we will come back tomorrow morning to reassess, which is likely looking like another one off."
The previously anticipated rise in waves over the weekend also now looks like falling through with wind conditions expected to be unfavourable.
It's likely to leave organisers with a three-day window to complete the event, beginning next Monday, where swells are expected to increase before falling off again on Thursday - with the event window closing next Friday.
Australian Matt Banting will compete against 2014 world champion Gabriel Medina in the first heat of the third round when surfing does resume, before Fanning takes on Adam Melling in an all-Aussie clash.
The retiring Burrow is due to face Hawaiian John John Florence, while Aussie Josh Kerr will take on Frenchman Jeremy Flores in another do-or-die battle.
Fellow Australians Adrian Buchan and world ratings leader Matt Wilkinson will take on Brazilians Miguel Pupo and Alejo Muniz, respectively.
