Would 20ft do ya?
"Nah, it's not 20 foot down there."
Andy Irons is too relaxed to be spooked by Piha. He's at home on the Hawaiian isle of Kauai, by the barbie, talking about golf on the local courses, hanging out with his girlfriend, a couple of mates, and having a few cold drinks.
Perfect preparation for his first trip to New Zealand next week, then.
"Four to six foot and I'll be a happy camper," he says
He and three of the greatest identities in the sport - Mark Occhilupo, Joel Parkinson and Sunny Garcia - arrive in New Zealand next week to take on New Zealand's Maz and Jay Quinn, Bobby Hansen and Daniel Kereopa in the Vodafone-sponsored Surf Sessions on Friday at Raglan and Saturday at Piha.
"It's gonna be classic, [coming to New Zealand with] three of my favourite people in the world - and being a non-rated event should be a lot of fun."
Irons, 27, is taking a break at home after competing in France, where he was nearly eliminated by Maz Quinn in the Quiksilver Pro. He is second in the championship he's won for the past three years and things have to get tense when the tour reconvenes in Brazil for the second to last round of the tour at the end of the month.
The return of Kelly Slater after three years away has set up the ultimate showdown in the battle to be called world's best.
But right now Irons doesn't need much to stay a happy camper, sifting around at home until he hits the flight for New Zealand. He misses Kauai a lot when he's overseas and sticks pretty close to family, "calling his parents every other day" and of course sees his younger brother Bruce, who now travels the circuit with him.
If he wasn't surfing, he'd be back on the island, "probably doing construction".
A picture of former sportsmen going into the construction game springs to mind: ex-Kiwis captain Brent Todd labouring as a concreter in Australia, Matthew Ridge's high-rise projects or Adam Parore's renovation nightmares.
So it's good Irons discovered early he had an instinct for catching a wave, when he first started down on Hanalei Bay on Kauai's famous North Shore.
By the early 90s Irons was rising to the top of the amateur ranks and hit the big league in 1996 at the Pipeline Pro, where he beat Derek Ho and Shane Beschen in treacherous conditions to win the final.
The next year he'd qualified for the world tour and the lifestyle that takes him away from Kauai, but always brings him back.
The instinct for a wave is still what keeps him on top.
"What do you do with Mother Nature and catching waves? It's ocean knowledge, a little bit of luck, being on your toes," he says.
It's this sort of nose for a wave he sees in his greatest rival on the tour and six-time world champion Kelly Slater.
"He's good in small waves, good in big waves. He's also got that sixth sense where he knows when he needs a wave - that wave comes to him when needs it - in the dying seconds usually. It's strange. He's just one of those guys who seems to have the rabbit's foot in the back pocket."
What's in Irons' back pocket is a pretty good pay cheque, although he says that's just the added bonus of being able to surf all year.
He pocketed US$190,125 ($272,756) last year and his career earnings total US$992,933.
"I'm kind of in my prime so I'm just trying to take advantage of it all while the opportunity's out there, but money's not everything."
He's got his promo work for Billabong that takes him to the mainland a couple of times a year. He quite naturally categorises himself perfectly for the demographic you suppose they're trying to reach, although his category probably doesn't come in any marketing manual: "I'm more a lifestyle mellow person than lifestyle aggro."
Speaking of money, another Hawaiian who's been talking the lifestyle mellow, Michelle Wie last week admitted she chose golf over soccer because it wasn't quite so physically demanding.
Irons is impressed.
"Oh man, she's awesome. It's amazing, she's a freak of nature, 6-foot-1 and one day maybe taking on the top pro men.
"It's pretty massive here."
Which also gets him talking about women's surfing and the idea that, like Wie, they'll be competing with the guys at the top level. That's a possibility, he says, for someone such as Hawaiian 12-year-old Carissa Moore. "She's that good".
Or as SurfShot magazine says: "Carissa Moore is gnarley, Carissa surfs like a guy, in fact she surfs better than most guys, and probably better then you. ...
"Carissa doesn't win because of hype, Carissa doesn't win because she is 12, she wins because she can boost airs, do layback tailslides, throw 360 reverses and get shacked all before the other girls can even paddle out."
That's what Irons faces every time he heads out the back.
"When I was coming up, the best thing you could do was airs. Now it's reverse airs, ollie oops, all those kind of tricks all the time. Now you got to do five airs a session to keep up.
"To see these kids putting all these tricks in their repertoire in competition is pretty rad."
For now, Irons is radder.
The high-risk insurance policy is all paid up, and he's excited about getting to New Zealand - in a perfectly lifestyle mellow way.
"I'm looking forward to being recharged, have a coupla cold beers and surfing some good waves."
Current rankings
1. Kelly Slater (United States) 7896
2. Andy Irons (Hawaii) 7128
3. Phillip MacDonald (Australia) 5870
4. Mick Fanning (Australia) 5838
5. Trent Munro (Australia) 5618
6. Taj Burrow (Australia) 5512
7. C. J. Hobgood (United States) 4873
8. Damien Hobgood (United States) 4851
9. Nathan Hedge (Australia) 4770
9. Cory Lopez (United States) 4770
11. Bruce Irons (Hawaii) 4643
12. Dean Morrison (Australia) 4309
13. Fredrick Patacchia jnr (Hawaii) 4263
14. Joel Parkinson (Australia) 4182
15. Jake Paterson (Australia) 4136
Surfing: Irons ripping with feet planted
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