Colin Miller (@funkymiller379)
"Billy Bowden - looking like Obama's interpreter at Mandela's Memorial - has just signalled for a pair of women's panties and a bra."
WM Lawry (@Corpse-in-Pads)
It should be noted that Bowden's decision making, if not his counting, was pretty darn good ... certainly a lot sounder than his colleague, the South African Marais Erasmus.
Now that's a sabbatical
From the racing desk came this gem.
"For A Reason capped one of the greatest years in the history of Australasian harness racing training by winning last weekend's A$400,000 Victoria Cup. The comeback pacer, who served 45 mares at stud last year, overcame a second-line draw to beat Caribbean Blaster and Kiwi superstar Christen Me, who stormed home from last in the sizzling 2240m group one."
Forty-five mares. Nice work for some.
Ouch
Kieran Powell, on the other hand, might be struggling to service anything after this painful blow (see picture).
Money the spur
The cheeky Spurs mascot who snubbed a handshake with Liverpool's Luis Suarez did it all for a 20 ($40) bet, her dad revealed to the Daily Mail. Olivia Brown, 10, gave the Reds captain the classic thumb-on-the-nose fake handshake as the two sides lined up before the 5-0 massacre at White Hart Lane. However, the youngster's dad has now told the Bedfordshire on Sunday he put his daughter up to the prank by offering a 20 cash incentive.
Angel and Demons, the sequel
Arsene Wenger on Suarez: "He's respectful, he loves training, he's an angel. He turns into a demon when he's on the pitch. We all dream about having players like that." I'm not sure everyone dreams of having players with cannibalistic/casual racism tendencies, but the Premier League is a strange world.
Truly United
Generally speaking, Manchester United fans are a despicable bunch, but at least adversity has shown them to have a droll sense of humour. Heard ringing around the away end at Villa Park when they scored last weekend: "We're not going down/ We're not going down."
Separate ways
Sad news from LA where reality TV star Khloe Kardashian filed for divorce from NBA free-agent Lamar Odom last week. The court filing, which cited irreconcilable differences, comes three days after Odom pleaded no contest to a driving under the influence charge related to an August arrest. The couple knew each other for just 30 days before marrying in 2009.
Hammered
Things have got pretty desperate for goal-shy West Ham on the field; and they're pretty desperate off the field as well if this attempt at merchandising is anything to go by. Who stole the silverware? What silverware? The 1980 FA Cup? The 1981 League Cup? As we said, desperate.
St Jetersburg
According to the New York Post, Yankees captain Derek Jeter has a strict "no cameras or phones" policy at his Davis Island mansion (also known as St Jetersburg) and all guests are required to leave camera phones in the foyer before entering his 2800sq m abode.
