Rough edges
Wimbledon semifinalist Jerzy Janowicz was once so poor some New Yorkers chipped in to buy him some tennis shoes after his old ones blew out at the US Open. He doesn't have to worry so much about money now after reaching the Paris Masters final last year and his grasscourt exploits, but the Pole still has some rough edges to smooth. Davis Cup teammate Mariusz Fyrstenberg took him for his first round of golf in California recently. "I tried to teach him all the basics about golf etiquette, but I forgot to tell him that he cannot drive his golf cart on to the green," Fyrstenberg recalled. "So I see from 200 yards that he had parked just 1m away from the hole and is relaxing there. I then saw this woman come up and give him some advice. So when I got to the green, I asked 'What did she tell you?' He said, 'Can you believe that the woman was teaching me how to drive?"'
Name game
Two Nigerian football teams, Plateau United Feeders and Police Machine, made headlines this week following their suspension-worthy 79-0 and 67-0 one-sided victories. You think those team names are strange? Other teams in their competition include obvious rivals Supreme Court FC Abuja and Court of Appeal FC, Federal Road Safety Commission Strikers of Abuja, Dabo Babes FC of Kano and Go Round FC of Port Harcourt.
The last laugh
A fan of perennial losers the Cleveland Browns has poked fun at the side in his own obituary. Scott E. Entsminger, 55, a lifelong Browns fan, died last week. Every season, he wrote a song for the team that won just one championship in his lifetime. His obit read: "He respectfully requests six Cleveland Browns pallbearers so the Browns can let him down one last time."
Long odds
The Ashes series may already be two days old but there were some odds on offer before the series which are still in play. Ladbrokes were offering 33/1 that somebody breaks Don Bradman's Ashes record of 974 runs in five tests, the same odds were offered on Len Hutton's record innings score of 364 being broken. Ian Botham's prediction that England can win both Ashes series this year by claiming every test for a 10-0 thrashing were at 150/1 with betting agency Stan James. Meanwhile, Ashton Agar, FYI he's in the Australian squad, was paying $500 at the New Zealand TAB to finish as the leading runscorer in the series.
Vettori redux
There was a touch of the Vettoris in Agar's story. Plucked for his country as a teen with a meagre body of first-class work behind, both looked as if they would be better served studying for their art history bursary exams. Both also had a gangly old approach and ripped a few past the bat without convincing they knew their art. Vettori would go on to become one of his country's greatest cricketers; Australia will be well served if Agar becomes half the player.
Disturbing link of the day
http://arrests.thesportsgeeks.com/. The website details every arrest in the NFL since 2000 by team, and codes them according to the types of crimes they were accused of. If you haven't got the time to have a look, let us just say there are a lot... and no team is clean.
