FA Cup II
Gaffe of the day in FA Cup coverage came when a commentator for TV - who should have been relatively fresh, his network only doing two hours of preamble - pointed out that in a Friday night telly interview, comedian Graham Norton "seemed to get inside Didier Drogba". Indeed.
Farewell Hendry
The retirement of Stephen Hendry marks the exit of one of snooker's great robot men. Back in his heyday he hit the button on the allure of winning: "It's nice when you're beating an opponent and kicking him when he's down. That is what sport is all about, the only reason for playing."
Taking Care
Danny Care - a man who boozed too much even for the England rugby team - says he's given up the plonk.
"It's easy for me to say I don't have a drink problem, but I don't feel that I do, just that I make bad decisions when I do drink."
And that differs from a drink problem how, Danny boyo?
Olympic tips I
Glamorous London journalist Mary Novakovich has penned a few travel pointers for those visiting for the Olympics. London, we're told, can be a tad hectic.
Under the heading "How to use the escalator in a Tube station", she helpfully explains: "STAND ON THE RIGHT AND KEEP THE LEFT CLEAR FOR PEOPLE TO WALK. Wonderfully simple logic, I know, but hard for many to grasp."
Under the heading "How to board a train" Novakovich poses a conundrum. "A Tube train finally arrives and what do you do? Well, what you don't do is stand in front of the doors and prevent people from getting off."
She's right, you know.
"We drive and cycle on the left," she continues. "Do try to bear that in mind."
And, finally, she touches on a subject of global relevance. "Indicating when you're going to turn would be helpful now and again. Stick the appropriate arm out if you're turning left or right. We can't always read your mind."
Olympic tips II
Large Olympic rings, made from metal, have appeared around London in the buildup to the Games. Word on the street is that one of the welders involved in making the things wasn't enamoured of the international event visiting London, so he did a poo inside one of the rings before welding it shut.
A joke
Rangers owner Craig Whyte is coming to terms with the club going into administration and his lifetime ban from soccer. His heartening message for the fans: "I couldn't care less. It makes no difference to my life whatsoever - and good luck collecting the money. It's a joke."
THEY SAID IT
"It almost makes you even more proud to wear the shirt when you know City are connected with such positive causes, whether it be disability, poverty or hunger. It's really good to know that we're doing the right thing."
Carlos Tevez (estimated weekly pay packet: $410,000) takes time out from his busy schedule of pouting, not training and refusing to take the field for Manchester City to visit the club's disabled children's project.
"I've missed my share of cuts in the past and they don't feel good."
Golf's rogue shagger Tiger Woods, who for the record has missed eight cuts in almost 16 years while his biggest career rival, Phil Mickelson, has missed 63.
"I know what I need to do. I just need more reps doing it. We've changed a bunch of different things, and every now and then, I fall into the old stuff. And that doesn't work, the combo platter of old and new."
Woods, again. He'll fix this. And he'll be back.
"It's a crisis, but I'll put out the fire. What I'll try to make the fans understand is that hitting the players and smashing their cars doesn't help."
Argentinian TV host Luis Ventura takes over as manager of relegation-threatened El Porvenir for the last four games of the season. Perhaps when he's done there he could take over at the Blues.
"We all know me being here will attract the cameras, so I told the boys to brush their hair: I want them all to look cute."
Ventura, again. He could definitely take over at the Blues.
"The court is not one that makes you feel comfortable. The court is a difficult court."
Spain's Rafael Nadal doesn't like Madrid's blue clay court - dubbed "Smurf clay" by Milos Raonic.