Super Shorts on the Super Bowl

Patriots quarterback Tom Brady contemplates a holiday in Aruba. His wife, Gisele Bundchen, had some tips for his teammates. Photo / AP

Second prize I

As Super Bowl MVP, Eli Manning bags himself a free trip to Disney World.

The New England Patriots also get a free trip, with the Aruba Tourism Authority offering the Super Bowl losers an all-expenses-paid holiday to the Caribbean nation.

"We want to acknowledge and celebrate the hard work, dedication and season-long success of the team, despite their loss," says the ATA. "We believe there is no better place to recover after a loss than Aruba. After all, we are known as 'One Happy Island."'

Hey Aruba, here's another suggestion for a promo line: "Where losers relax."

Second prize II

If they do go to Aruba, it might pay to make sure the quarterback's wife doesn't sit next to the Patriots' receivers on the plane.

"I can't believe they dropped the ball so many times," said model Gisele Bundchen. "My husband cannot f***ing throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time."

Second prize III

Giants backup running back Brandon Jacobs has some advice for Bundchen: "Stay cute and shut up."

Which puts the ball in Mr Bundchen's court. Quarterback Tom Brady is a Patriots legend - does he stand by his teammate or by his wife?Second prize IVIf the Bundchen-Brady household finds it tough pondering that dilemma, they could console themselves by sobbing into massive wads of cash.

The Brazilian model, actress and (cough, cough) UN goodwill ambassador has an estimated net worth of $180 million.

For his part, Brady can only bring a paltry $120 million worth of cash to use as tissue paper.

The gruts

David Beckham's undies are in the news again, the Parents Television Council expressing dismay at the display of English manhood during the Super Bowl's halftime ad break.

"We are hearing shock and concern from our members, particularly about the Fiat ad and the David Beckham ad," says Dan Isett, director of public policy for the fun-loving PTC.

"These ads didn't air at one in the morning on cable. This was the Super Bowl. How do parents explain to their kids what a famous soccer star is doing in his underwear?"

Er, by telling them he doesn't go commando?

The finger

In female-pop-star-does-something-mildly-outrageous news, Madonna is said to be furious with MIA for giving the camera the finger during the halftime show.

"Madonna wasn't impressed," a source told the Sun.

The NFL said: "The obscene gesture ... was completely inappropriate, very disappointing and we apologise to our fans."

Finally, a source close to MIA - who is now more famous than she might ever have dreamed of becoming - said: "She wasn't thinking. She was caught in the moment and she's incredibly sorry.