Guess what? The America's Cup is back in court. Guess what again? It now seems almost certain that, regardless of what happens at the 'big boat' multi-hull challenge in Valencia next month, the Cup will be back in court after the race.
The regatta - BMW Oracle's vast, obscenely expensive and technologically innovative trimaran vs Alinghi's vast, obscenely expensive and technologically innovative catamaran - is set down for a best-of-three challenge beginning on February 8.
Alinghi chief Ernesto Bertarelli and Oracle supremo Larry Ellison are among the richest people in the world.
Both have thrown tens of millions of dollars at building their boats and at a legal argument that has bored everyone else rigid and which has been going on for more than two years (since Alinghi beat Emirates Team New Zealand 5-2 to retain the America's Cup in Valencia in 2007); which is effectively choking the life out of a grand event.
The latest court action - sparked by the fact that both sides could not hash out their differences around a negotiating table for the umpteenth time - hinges around the "made in country" stipulation of the Deed Of Gift; the ancient document which is the basis of all America's Cup competition and, in particular, the trimaran vs catamaran challenge.
BMW Oracle claim the Swiss have broken the rules by using sails made in the US, instead of made in their own country. The Swiss say the sails were made in Switzerland and accuse Oracle of trying to nick the Cup in court rather than on the water.
The farcical nature of all this is understood when it's realised the sailmakers in both cases are North Sails, the world's leading suppliers to America's Cup yachts for decades.
North Sails are based in Nevada (although they have outlets around the world, including New Zealand) and BMW Oracle say the Nevada headquarters is the only place in the world where sails of the size and strength needed for America's Cup racing can be built.
The sails are not sewn out of soft fabrics but are poured into a huge mould and pretty much baked in an oven.
Oracle say the Swiss got the sail panels made by North Sails, then shipped to Switzerland, where they were assembled and finished - and argue that is not "made in country".
If you think this is a tedious argument, you'd be right. North Sails have made the sails for defenders and challengers alike for the last five America's Cups. All were made at the same loft in Nevada although each team designed its own sails and did other work on them.
There is another precedent. In 1983, when the Australians broke the US's 132-year grip on the trophy, the American holders agreed to allow challengers to buy and use US sails.
The Australians successfully argued the Americans had the best sails in the world at that stage (they were still made out of cloth) and that any challenge would be automatically negated if they did not have access to them.
That change made all the difference; greatly helping the Australians to win and to change the whole face of America's Cup yachting. So why are similar arrangements not being agreed here?
What next - do we put the two teams in a giant babies' playpen and allow them to throw rattles at each other or maybe decide matters after a breath-holding competition?
The answer is that both sides are still jockeying for advantage. Under the Deed Of Gift, technically the requirement for "made in country" prevails.
The Americans want a best of seven series, not best of three. They are trying to force the Swiss into a position where they can use the sails nonsense as a bargaining chip - and maybe push the February date back a month or two to allow for more testing and trialling of their highly advanced but largely untested yacht with its vast fixed sail.
It's possible the New York Supreme Court court action will solve matters before February 8 or that there will be an on-the-steps-of-the-courthouse agreement.
But the animosity between these two teams is now so entrenched and poisonous it seems almost certain that, regardless of what happens in the regatta, someone will take the whole matter back to the New York Supreme Court.
The only question then will be: Does anyone care?
Yachting: Yet another squall in saga
Alinghi chief Ernesto Bertarelli. Photo / NZ Herald
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