Rugby: Super 14 Power Rankings

This week, the Rankings dressed up in a white mask, dark sunglasses, hat, scarf and a white sheet - not at all like the Ku Klux Klan - and raided a friend's house because... why?

1. Chiefs (no change)
Who pushed off more Cheetahs than a Cape Buffalo? Mike Delany, whose try for the Chiefs last week must rank as one of the best individual efforts in a Chiefs jersey, even if the Cheetahs tackled like wet noodles. Now, if they can only push over those Bulls...

2. Bulls (up 3)
Winger Akona Ndungane says he and identical twin brother Odwa (Sharks) thought of swapping teams without anyone knowing - but says they are too professional to do it. Rankings remembers the Argentinean twin brothers who played that trick years ago - but on their girlfriends.

3. Crusaders (up 3)
Full marks to the Crusaders for targeting first-five Francois Steyn last weekend. This lad appeals as one of the best Bok backs in many a year - but not at first-five. The crafty Cantabs caught him out. Rankings says it doesn't pay to be behind the door when the smarts are being passed out.

4. Hurricanes (no change)
Rankings dips his lid to Ma'a Nonu. Not so long ago, he was making rugby fans groan and question his intelligence but he has transformed himself into the most dangerous midfield back in the Super 14.

5. Blues down 2
How the Blues must have wished the lights had stayed out at North Harbour Stadium - masking the fact that their season may have been snuffed out like a blown light bulb.

6. Sharks (down 4)
You'd think Richie McCaw's special qualities would have gained adequate recognition by now but website Sportal, in picking a Sharks win last week, said: "The Crusaders cannot expect McCaw to jump straight to his best form, especially against the Sharks' classy loose trio." Now there's a word, class...

7. Waratahs (down 1)
Former Wallabies back coach Todd Louden reckons that the Waratahs would have won the Super 14 "easily, given the standards of the competition" if Ewen McKenzie had still been coach. This gave Rankings his biggest laugh since Grandma sat on the chihuahua, thinking it was a cushion.

8. Force (up 2)
Last one out the door at the Force, please sweep the sand off the porch. CEO Greg Harris, fullback Drew Mitchell, winger Scott Staniforth and Matt Giteau are all off - and James O'Connor, Richard Brown and Josh Valentine may follow. But it's OK, Mitch is still there...

9. Stormers (up 2)
"I am not looking for excuses but 13 of our first-choice players were out of the team," said coach Rassie Erasmus after last week's loss to the 'Canes. Rankings thinks if you were looking for excuses, that'd be a pretty good one.

10. Brumbies (down 2)
Stirling Mortlock could become the highest point scorer in Super Rugby history in the next three weeks, if he gets a hurry-on. His 965 points (52 tries, 147 conversions, 137 penalties) is now just 25 behind the 990 of record holder Andrew Mehrtens.

11. Highlanders (down 2)
Rugby's a cruel game. George Naoupu, the powerful No 8 who has been the find of the season, started the Highlanders' demise against the Stormers with an out-of-character kick.

12. Reds (up 1),
"A lot of our players enjoy going to Auckland - they get to catch up with family," joked Reds coach Phil Mooney, as eight of his squad are Kiwi-born. They will have enjoyed the family reunions after dealing to the Blues last night.

13. Lions (down 1)
Best defence award for the Lions against the Force goes to... the goalposts. They knocked down Force fullback Drew Mitchell, which was more than any of the Loopy Lions could do.

14. Cheetahs (no change)
Will the Cheetahs do it again and pull off a Sharks-like victory over the rotating Crusaders? Rankings doesn't think so but he's been so mean to the Cheetahs, it's time for a little positivism...