KEY POINTS:
Anybody who set their alarms for the Crusaders clash against the Stormers yesterday would have witnessed one of the most impressive sportsmen in New Zealand history going about his business.
No, it wasn't Richie McCaw or Dan Carter. They will go down as all-time All Black greats but the fella I'm talking about won't but, if anything, his sporting career is more impressive than those of that duo.
Brad Thorn would struggle to make it into a New Zealand sports hall of fame for the simple reason he did a lot of great things while wearing a kangaroo on his chest.
However, Mosgiel-born Thorn continues to be a revelation.
Shrewd judges thought another Super 14 campaign would be a bridge too far for the 33-year-old. After yesterday's performance they're not looking so shrewd.
As it turns out, Thorn might be Robbie Deans' final gift to his beloved franchise.
The All Black selectors should take note too. He is in fantastic shape and looks a better, more confident player than he did when he first made the All Blacks. If it is good enough for England to pick the likes of Lawrence Dallaglio, Richard Hill, Martin Johnson and Neil Back well into their 30s, why not Thorn?
The Brisbane-raised transtasman international decided some years ago his body was his temple and pursued a life of near-blameless excellence. Contrast his pursuit of perfection and, it should be noted, lucrative contracts, with that of New Zealand cricket's latest walking self-destruct button.
The worst aspect of the Jesse Ryder saga was the numbing predictability of it all.
From the incident itself to the media coverage, to the howls of callers on that most democratic yet tiresome of mediums, talkback radio, there is not one element of the narrative that has caused surprise.
(Actually, there is one: New Zealand Cricket, after some clumsy work on the Sunday of the incident where they tried to turn it into a "24-hour" story, were surprisingly nimble in the way they dealt with the media. Getting the surgeon to talk about the injury and procedure was a masterstroke and getting Ryder to publicly pay penance on both networks' primetime 'current affairs' shows effectively killed off any further interest in the story. Rugby could certainly learn a thing or two from this approach, rather than allow players to post mea culpa messages on their websites.)
So far the stupidest argument has been the one that Ryder's screw-up, and ones like Doug Howlett's car-hopping in London last year, are a by-product of the pressure young sportsmen are under.
In Ryder's case that is, to use a sadly underused word, bollocks. Ryder was under no pressure; he was a wildcard selection and was simply on the ride of his life - scoring runs for fun, impressing astute critics with his simple, polished technique and eye-popping shot-making.
Those two Twenty20 internationals and five one-dayers would have earned him a nice little $20k, so no wonder Jesse's mates were keen for a catch-up when he hit town. Geez, when he started bar-hopping in his team-issue casual gear, he might have even been surprised at how much more attractive he had suddenly become to the opposite sex.
But none of that is pressure. All of Ryder's woes come down to one thing - making bad decisions before he started drinking and making even worse ones once he started.
"I am New Zealand cricket," he is alleged to have sworn at hospital staff.
No you're not Jesse, you're just another boy trapped in a man's body. The only thing making you different from thousands of others is that you have an extraordinary gift.
A gift that, in this current environment, can make you very rich, certainly richer than any of the nurses and hospital staff you abused. Perhaps you should talk to the underpaid and under-appreciated nurses about pressure when you return to pay your penance.
While you're at it, give Brad Thorn a ring. Listen to the preparation he puts himself through to play professional sport. That's the key word - professional.
