KEY POINTS:
You felt tempted to rub the eyes and give a little shake of the head as the Chiefs and Highlanders duelled with faulty swords in the Queenstown sunlight on Saturday afternoon.
Do not adjust your set: yes, the goalposts were painted like shadows while the game was played in the full light.
As for the backdrop, you half expected the von Trapp clan to appear, belting out "The hills are alive ... "
Saturday afternoon's rugby fare looked as if it was being played on a 1960s Hollywood soundstage and there was no denying its folksy charm.
If the scenery was picture perfect, the game was actually too colourful for the Chiefs and Highlanders' own good.
It was a thriller, as in the decent B-grade variety, thanks mainly to a cliffhanger end, even though the Chiefs should have riddled the Highlanders with holes long before the credits began to roll.
Unhappily, for both combatants, they were exposed as title pretenders unlikely to run out under the glare this year of grand final floodlights.
The Chiefs represent the greatest misuse of power in the competition - one minute they charge along like a saloon car in its prime and the next, the pistons are smashing great holes in the bonnet.
They are getting by, but without much seeming to be in the right place. The Chiefs, care of a bonus point haul, remain firmly in the semifinal hunt but are remote title prospects.
As for the Highlanders, if they keep to the promise of becoming a franchise of homegrown players, then they will end up stuck in a Super 14 base camp with a crackling radio bringing them news of glorious peaks discovered by others.
Rugby's Remarkables are not all that far away from the land of the Highlanders.
The Crusaders, with Dan Carter barely having to raise a sweat, burst into action against the Western Force on Saturday night, announcing that they are primed to claim yet another title.
The real force is back with us, while it would be no surprise if the bright blue jerseys of the gallant but brittle mob from Perth have begun a slide down the table.
There is no disgrace in that, because John Mitchell has achieved a miracle or two turning a new team from a rugby outpost into a decent mid-table outfit in just two seasons.
But there is, for now, a major split in this year's competition: at the top end the Crusaders and Blues - who conjured up maybe the try of the season against the Cheetahs on Friday night - are a class apart and heading towards an almost inevitable final showdown.
If the Chiefs and/or the Hurricanes could get their acts together, they have the firepower to mount challenges but they are relying too heavily on individual escapades for now.
With a South African team unlikely to gain a home semifinal, and the Australians bleeding all over the place, it's difficult - and a little disappointing in terms of watching a vibrant competition - to see a winner coming from outside these shores.
What of those Crusaders?
The most significant news of the weekend was an unconfirmed Sunday newspaper claim that Robbie Deans, that superb coach of impeccable judgment and patience, will not, after all, head overseas this year and will remain for another campaign with the red and blacks.
There are greater implications here should this be the case. Deans, surely, just has to be the man to replace Graham Henry if the All Black coach departs - one way or other - after the World Cup.
Who else, for goodness' sake, can go close to matching the former All Black assistant coach's record, standing and experience.
Henry has led the way in setting up the All Blacks as a professional club of sorts, with succession planning and all.
But Deans is the original mastermind of this approach, having steered the Crusaders' bus along with stars and their successors happily travelling on board, not to mention the trophies spread all over the dashboard.
They scored marvellous tries on Saturday night, and none more so than when a classic Aaron Mauger shuffle sent the Force's defence dancing down the wrong alley.
If a chink is to emerge in the champions' armour, it might be through the premature departure of Deans. The Crusaders are being re-moulded and as Chris Jack and Mauger ready their bags and other veterans take stock or have it taken for them, the next crop of players are a year away from being sure bets to follow in their golden footsteps.
The Crusaders may have another year's grace although the new coach, whenever he arrives, will still face a major task living up to Deans' deeds.
It would hardly be a shock if old-fashioned loyalty has helped persuade the former Canterbury fullback that this is not the time to relinquish control of his, and the province's, pride and joy.
It is often the pinpoint timing and positioning of the Crusaders' support running that sets them apart. It would be no surprise if Deans has decided that things are not sufficiently in place for him to let go of the ball just yet.
High
Bangladesh's giant-killing act against South Africa has put new life into the cricket World Cup's Super Eights phase. Portsmouth's defeat of Manchester United which sets up a thrilling final stanza to the English soccer premiership's two-horse race.
Low
Another New Zealand Davis Cup disaster, this time against the Philippines ... our tennis team gets more slipper than Imelda Marcos.
