48 hours: Southern dominance is a bitter pill to swallow

It's that time of year again, when us northerners have to (GULP) doff our caps to (GULP, GULP) ... you can whisper this bit ... Canterbury.

Let's face it. Where would the national obsession be without the Red and Blacks. Once again, they are carrying New Zealand's Super 12 hopes. Without them we'd be a bit of a rugby joke (OUCH).

This causes pain in the north.

As a follower of the blue and white hoops of Auckland since childhood, it is tough having to stomach this era of Cantab dominance. It is a bitter pill to swallow.

You learned at a young age that Cantabs were a lesser species who scared small children, were dreadfully unkind to tourists (particularly those dressed as Lions), snacked on raw sides of beef and most likely didn't pay their taxes. They were not to be admired.

Trouble is, you have to admire them.

The Crusaders, once again, are our only hope. Should the Hurricanes somehow upset Robbie Deans' side and make the Super 12 final, then you wouldn't give them much chance of winning the final in Sydney. And heaven forbid should they face the Bulls, because Loftus Versfeld looks like the most fearsome of all rugby stadia (to use the in word among World Cup politicos) to visit on the planet right now.

That crowd in Pretoria is plain scary. It was a very sensible move by the Stormers playing dead yesterday morning because it gave them a chance of getting out of town safely.

If the Hurricanes and their wobbly tight five end up matched against the Bulls in Pretoria, we should just send over a sick note and get on with planning for the Lions tour.

So it's down to the Crusaders, yet again.

It is worth pointing out though that Auckland has played a big part in the Crusaders' success.

For a start, we willingly take the Canterbury population overflow which clears their streets and enables the Crusaders to cruise to training without battling traffic jams. It also makes it much easier for Rico Gear to get from Nelson to Jade Stadium on time.

In contrast, the Blues face the continual frustrations of trying to negotiate their racing machines around streets which are clogged up with Cantabrians who are just visiting - for years on end.

And through accepting these crazed-lunatic Canterbury migrants into our city, it leaves behind a really committed support base in Christchurch that isn't distracted by softies who would only cut off one limb in the name of their team.

Second, and most importantly, the Blues gave Greg Feek a home last year when he needed it and this has been pivotal in the Crusaders' success so far this season.
And third, we developed Gear to the point that he has taken the Crusaders to a whole new level.

If Richie McCaw doesn't mention any of this in his victory speech, we will be most offended.

What really sticks in the throat, though, is that these Crusaders aren't actually very good.

Dave Hewett is over the hill, and Greg Somerville too passive. Chris Jack is short on aggro, and nobody can remember who the other lock is. As for lineout throwing - Corey Flynn would have trouble hitting a barn door with a beach ball. Reuben Thorne and Sam Broomhall are All Black rejects and past it, if they ever had it. As for Mose Tuiali'i - he's actually one of ours.

Not to mention that Nightclub Norm has been putting all his energy into planning another overseas holiday, and Richie McCaw is always injured.

Justin Marshall has been sidetracked by having to follow the English club relegation battle, while Andrew Mehrtens is soooo overrated and keeps getting bugged by OE rumours. Aaron Mauger misses tackles, Casey Laulala can be la-la, and Caleb Ralph is Caleb Ralph.

Leon MacDonald is not the player he once was, Scott Hamilton is barely NPC standard, and Gear is also one of ours. That leaves Dan Carter who isn't bad. The fact is, the Crusaders are just damn lucky and are helped by the refs.

Then again, maybe they aren't all of the above, and maybe they play as a unit, put the Crusaders cause above their own, are well coached and play for a franchise that knows how to plan ahead. Oh, the agony.